You Are Not a Tree. Show the World Who You Are.

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

I think it does. I think it makes the same sound it would if it were surrounded by a crowd of people.

But you read the quote. No one is around to hear it. No one cares. No one will come chop the tree up into logs. No one will plane the logs down into boards. No one will build a chair or a table or a baby crib out of that tree. It doesn't matter if it's among the finest Mahogany in the country. It will rot, marred by maggots and larvae, unseen and forgotten into the ground.

It could have been so many wonderful things.

Like all trees do, it began as a seed sailing on a puffy little cloud, or some happy crap like that. (More than likely, it was stuck to a fox's left ass cheek, and was carried a couple of miles before dropping off.) It found a comfy place to live, and it put down roots. Because its a tree, it cant put a for sale sign out, call for a U-Haul and move. It would be stuck there for the rest of its life. It would have to wait for people to find IT to determine it was worthy of being made into something.

Good news.You are not a tree! You can move wherever you want. You can interact with whomever you want. You can be made into whatever you want.

Of course there's always gonna be that crowd that wants to sit home in their pajamas and is content working at the 7-11 for the rest of their lives. Key word: wants. Getting by doing the minimum is enough for them, seriously. But what if that's not you?

What if you want to start a company, what if you want to create art seen around the world, what if you want to be a pro athlete or create a clothing line or increase awareness and raise money to cure a disease? You can't be the unseen tree. And you can't be scared to rip yourself up by the roots.

You need to be everywhere. People often think its bragging, or gloating about themselves if they continue to promote to the world what they do well. We all know that asshole on social media that posts 3040 selfies of everything they do and every other post says "F#*K the haterssss!"  But just WHY does that person bother you and I so much, you fellow hater?

No its not because you're jealous. You're actually, seriously nauseated by their content. It's because their content isn't real. Everything's always perfect. They never get upset, or fail or have a bad day, or fart in a crowd and blame someone else, or fail to wash their hair for six days. You, unfortunately, can't relate to them. You fail often and forget to be perfect. Therefore, you wish they would just go away. They don't make you feel good about yourself. They make you feel bad. Why would you buy what they're selling or support them in their missions?

The people and businesses you look up to and ultimately buy from and support make you feel great. They share not only the good, but the bad. They make noise and its real. They put themselves out there flaws and all. You can relate, it feels like you know them. You'd buy sawdust in a package from them because even if  you've never met them, they're your friends, and you trust your friends.

So there's good noise and bad noise. And then there's no noise. We all know that artist that THINKS no one will like his work so he hides it in his closet, even though he's the most amazing thing you've ever seen. Or that great writer who was told by someone that publishing a book is unreasonable and stupid, so they put that dream on the shelf and stayed silent. Or that ice cream shop whose owner doesn't know or care how to use a computer, so they aren't on any social media. No one knows they make the best banana split for 50 miles.

You're good at something and you have dreams. Whether you think you'll ever get there or not, you don't stand a chance if you don't put it out there. Social Media has made it easier than ever to share with the world what those are, and to remain humble. Don't spam people or be fake and perfect. Be real. Be someone they can know without ever having met you. People go with what they know and hear consistently. They support it, they think of it often, they buy from it.

Be in people's heads. Not screaming spammy crap, but be there for what you're good at and for who you are. Don't be afraid to be imperfect and don't be afraid to be really good at something and tell the world. You're good at it because it was meant for you and you love it. You're going to mess up a LOT because you're human.

You're not a tree. You can do whatever it takes to succeed. Email everyone you know and be yourself. Do it again a couple months later. Talk to people, meet people. Walk up to them even though you have no idea what to say. You'll look stupid. You will. You'll feel stupid. Deal with it. Anyone who got anywhere, dealt with it. It'll separate you from everyone that quit.

There's so many cool people out there, with cool examples and inspiration. Whatever it is you want to do, someone probably already did similar. Find out how and then do it better.

Talent is worth nothing if no one knows you have it and you're too scared to use it. Its yours, go own it before its too late. Be the tree that grows next to the Eiffel tower, not in the middle of Montana. Make sure everyone hears you when you fall.


For graphic design and help with YOUR social media for business as always check out www.tamaramorrisongraphics.com :-)

The Dog Ate My Life Checklist.....Peace Out 2014

I don't remember a whole lot about this time last year, except that I still drove a 99 Pontiac Grand Am, and I wanted my hair to grow out terribly badly after hacking wayyyy too much of it off in the summer. 

I worked as a front desk receptionist, and I had recently discovered Walden Farms no calorie pancake syrup, and cookie dough Quest Bars, which altered my life forever.

Doesn't sound that exciting. Because, it wasn't.

But then came 2014. And I'm realizing now just how much things have really changed for me. 

I'm sitting here typing this at 3:59 on a Tuesday, after a killer leg workout with a good friend. I have a crazy, insane, perhaps slightly possessed 7 month old puppy at my feet. She's chomping away at a pig ear, and five seconds later she moves to a rubber bone, and five seconds after that shes running 4094 laps around the coffee table like Satan himself is chasing her.

Meet Bailey, just one big change in 2014! 

 

I have Photoshop and Illustrator open on my computer, and both contain art files that people are actually paying me to create. I have spreadsheets open with profit and loss and expense statements. (And I did math to get them.) I have a dinner date with one of my oldest friends later. And yeah, I'm wearing sweatpants. 

Unbelievably to myself, I'm not dead! I'm not broke! I'll max out my IRA this year, and I can still afford peanut butter! 

Looking back, I guess this was one of the most "successful" years of my life. This was the year I started making my dream life a reality. But it's been the hardest year too. 

I've said I QUIT to a job with nothing at all lined up. I've met more strangers than I can even count. I've gone to networking meetings, and stood up in front of crowds to pitch my services, and try to explain my passion for design in 30 words or less.

I've walked into more businesses, wearing really uncomfortable pants and blouses and heels to talk to people who've never met me before and sell them on my offerings. I got a lot of freaking no's. And blank stares. And nice brush offs.

And I got some yesses.

I made an idiot out of myself on more than one occasion. I didn't always have the right thing to say, or the right props to pull out to impress them. 

I've sat there in tears because no one was emailing me back, no one was ordering anything. I've sat there in tears because everyone was ordering everything all at once. 

It's been hard.... yet not hard enough. Next year I want this to be bigger, better, faster, stronger. Every single day, I go to sleep feeling like I haven't done anywhere NEAR enough. And I think it's going to be that way for the rest of my life. I think that little nagging voice is what keeps me going where others would stop. 

I think you can find that voice too. 

We don't need a new year to start a new way of living, but its a convenient marker in time. Too many of us simply go through the motions, check off the neat little boxes. College, job, meet perfect person, house, dog, kids, retirement, die. How many people stop to think if it's what they REALLY want? What if you want to move to Bangladesh with your pet hedgehog, stay single and live in a tent? Why not? This life is YOURS. If half that list is already checked, and you don't want to check off any more neat little boxes, rip the thing up and burn it. It's not too late. Put the house up for sale. Start a business training donkeys from your tent on the beach in Hawaii. So what if everyone says you're crazy.

Be crazy. Save money. Do the research. Do so much research. Then do what it takes. 

Stop checking off the boxes and start making 2015 the year YOU go for what you really want. I want even more. More experiences, more meetings, more cool projects, more chances to inspire you, more trips, more huge freaking mistakes and eff-ups that show me what I need to improve upon. Bring it.

Rip up that list. You can't take it with you when you go. You can't take anything. Not the money in the bank, not the house, not the car. Leave behind some cool stories for the people who knew you to tell. 

Leave knowing you used up all your spins around the sun to the fullest. It's like a game show. You only get so many turns before you go bankrupt and the game's over.

Start now.

Stop Getting Stonewalled By Your Own Excuses!

Imagine this. You decide you want to build a huge stone wall around your property. You have plenty of money for materials, that wont ever be an issue. You have plenty of time. You have the time to work on it every single day. You have the strength, your health is decent. There isn't really anything stopping you.

You start in on the wall, laying one stone at a time, fitting them together, not perfectly, but soundly. It starts to seem like its taking an awfully long time. Longer than you thought it would. You aren't even a third of the way around the property! You start to think you must be nuts.

Your back is getting sore, your hands are developing calluses. Some days, it rains and you get even less done. Some days, the weather is perfect and it seems like you could lay stone forever.

Then, there's a huge storm. Gusty winds knock a huge tree over. Right into your wall. A good portion of it is crumbled. You're devastated.

Meanwhile inside the house, laundry is piling up, your wife says she doesn't see you enough, and the people are your real-life-job are starting to question why you're always so tired you can't even operate the coffee pot lately.

How about that beard though?!

This is the part, where most people quit. They tell themselves, eh, its not worth it, who needs a wall, it was silly anyways, there's no point. On to more important things.

The wall never gets finished. Neither does that car in your garage. You didn't lose those 20 lbs off your middle. Your great plan to redecorate the front bedroom resulted in three streaks of sample paint on the wall before you made up that excuse as to why it didn't NEED redoing.

We all do it. We all start things and don't finish them. And perhaps some things SHOULDN'T be finished. (Like that robot you were working on to clean the toilets. Isn't that why you had kids?)

But for the most part, the ONLY way to finish something, is to continue to do it in the first place. If you just kept laying one stone at a time, even if you slowed  your pace, you'd have NO CHOICE but to meet  your goal of finishing. It would manifest itself.

Consistency. That's the word of the day. Whatever goal you have will NEVER be met without it. Even when you encounter setbacks, and it seems IMPOSSIBLE, you must keep throwing rocks on the pile. When you stop, you ENSURE you won't get anywhere. If you never stop......the possibility of success never dies. In fact, its almost bound to happen!

Of course, some days, you look at that huge yard spread in front of you that still needs stone, you look at the muffin top oozing over your waistband, you look at that car in the garage and the HUNDREDS of bolts  you need to turn before its complete. Its overfreakinwhelming. You'd rather go to the dentist for a root canal or something, than continue.

It looks like Mount Everest. But what if you were hiking that mountain, and it was foggy, and you couldn't see the top? You'd have NO IDEA how far away the top was, or how far you'd already come. You'd only see a few feet ahead, and you'd keep putting one foot in front of the other, until you got to that top.

That overwhelming factor has been removed. What if you made the choice to remove it, from every goal you have?

One day you go back out and decide ENOUGH, its time to start rebuilding your wall. You don't look at the rest of the yard, or the neighbors yard, or think about how freaking HUGE that gap is where the tree fell. You simply lay a stone. And another, And another. You throw on headphones and jam out to Van Halen. And Justin Beiber (I won't tell). You lay another stone. When you look up, the gap is filled. You've overcome your setback. You've realized that sometimes you just have to put the blinders on to your own excuses and GET IT DONE.

Tomorrow you'll lay another stone. And everyday for the rest of the year, stone after stone until that damn wall wraps all the way around your yard. You won't think too much about how much you have left, and you won't pat yourself on the back for how far you've come.

Those small goals are the key to staying consistent. Getting out there and doing SOMETHING every single day. But, for now its time to go in and clean the toilets. Unfortunately, you never did quite get that robot up and running.

I'm On the Pursuit of Happiness and I Know, Everything that Shine Ain't Always Gonna be Gold, HEY

I hate math as its taught in schools. I was always terrible at it. I still remember when I first realized I was terrible at it. Second grade. Those worksheets where you had to do problems as fast as you could, and the winner that got them all right got some kind of prize. Maybe a glitter pencil of one of those huge triangle erasers that just looked like candy and made you get a craving for a Starburst or ten. Anyways, it was time for another fun round of worksheet racing, but this time, it was division. I still can't do long division. Like you could threaten to take my life with a dagger to my throat,  and I probably couldn't figure out long division. Everyone is finishing up, and the winner is already grinding their new glitter pencil to a fine point in the sharpener. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there and I can't get one problem. Not one. I'm the last kid still sitting at the desks. I feel panic rising in my stomach and I just want to run out of that room and hide in the woods where long division doesn't exist. But I cant so I sit there until the teacher finally notices the hot tears that have begun running down my face and comes over.

Who remembers these?!

Now, I have a few friends who are math teachers. They probably have a nice collection of glitter pencils somewhere in their closet at home, shiny like special unicorn horns. But in my experience, many math teachers, have been...mean. Not mean people persey, but just plain canNOT fathom how ANYONE has difficulty understanding long division. Or algebra. Or why x is just a letter near the end of the alphabet in some peoples minds. I have had, in my school career all the way up into college, math teachers who have given me serious 'tude because I, Tamara Morrison, struggle with math. One professor in college even went so far as to say to me when I asked for help "You should know this, shouldn't you? I don't have time you will need to study it on your own." I remember she was obsessed with the gym. So I cant hate her entirely. But, what she failed to realize here is that HEY MATH DOESN'T COME EASY TO EVERYONE!!! Just because you basically must have popped out of the womb with an algebra how to manual implanted in your soul, doesn't mean I did.

And that is the point of this post today. Its about realizing that not everyone defines success/happiness/talent the same as YOU and that's fine. Somewhere in my journey to not really caring what anyone else thinks came that realization. For ME, success is being independent, not being in an office for work, freedom. I don't want kids. Like ever. Yeah that's right I'm a 26 yr old girl that isn't interested in kids. You think I will change. I think you're wrong. It makes me happy to chase big goals. I don't get nervous putting my ideas out there. I don't get scared to step on a stage. I don't want to live a mediocre life. I want to do something different. And I'm happier now than I think I've ever been because I'm doing what I love even though people told me it was crazy.

That's my dream, but I know people that want to be moms more than ANYTHING. I mean whole face lights up when they talk about it. My mom was one of those people. She didn't want to run a business or come up with crazy ideas. Didn't interest her at all. She wanted to be a stay at home mom. That was her dream. And she did it. That is nothing like my dream. Its quite opposite. But she was HAPPY. She was terribly happy.  I know people who love routine. SERIOUSLY love it. They like sitting in an office, they like having everything thought out and then going home and enjoying some time or hobbies. I know people who go live in Africa for years, with no running water because they want to volunteer and they believe they are doing good. I know guys in relationships with other guys and they own a house and a puppy together. All these people do not live the life that fires ME up and would make me happy. But they are happy. You can tell when someone has passion and happiness and excitement for life. They all have it. So stop questioning it. Stop asking yourself or other people how so and so can be happy living THAT life? ANYONE who has discovered their happiness or is on the way to that, should get respect for that. Because there are SO MANY who have not.

You know the ones I mean. The whiners, the sad souls. Maybe right now, you are one. The people who are so not happy with anything they are doing but, refuse to create change. The biggest reason seems to be (and we always fall back on this one) is what other people are saying/thinking. Someone told you your dreams are stupid. You think if you tell anyone your dreams, they WILL say you're stupid. People told me this too. My old boss one time said to me "What are you going to do if you don't do this? There's nothing else for you, you cant be a designer anywhere, this is the best you can do" Sure it got to me. But I refused to believe it. A  0.30995 second Google search shows me thousands of people who ARE designers. With my education and levels of knowledge. With less money saved. With less support. The proof is easy to see. If they could do it why the hell not me?! I'm not a special unicorn! If they could do it why not me? They freaking had to do some work for it. They didn't just wake up and have this happen. Working for change is GOING TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE. All those happy people, they know that. A lot of times, I don't feel like calling people, I don't want to think about all those huge ugly numbers putting quotes together (math!) It sucks. Id rather be eating chocolate and scrolling Facebook. In my cube life, I could. Money was made even scrolling Facebook. But not now. Maybe that stay at home mom feels like dog shit today. She doesn't WANT to deal with three kids today. Its hard. They annoy her today. She'd rather be on the beach with a glass of wine. Maybe that gay couple with the puppy don't feel like being gawked at today in the supermarket. But screw it. Shut off the emotions and just do it. I just do the quote. The mom just deals with the kids. The couple goes to the store. And in the end they all emerge happier and stronger. NO ONE ever regretted the outcome of pushing harder at a goal. No one.

So you know what, math teachers past? Not everyone gets math. Not everyone is good at that. It's not the only way to be smart, or happy. Not everyone wants to be fit like me. Not everyone wants to compete. Some people just want to fit into their jeans from two years ago. Not everyone wants to run a business. Not everyone CAN. It would be like asking a fish to fly. It's not utilizing what that fish does and loves best. And yeah, I don't want to be a mom, or get a "real safe" job or stop training for competitions or go back to college. Stop asking. If it changes Ill let ya know. I am, right now, happy. I can only hope you are, too. If you AREN'T, that's the people I feel for, the people I wish I could help change. Help them somehow erase their often self imposed restrictions on doing what it is they are best at and most passionate about. I don't care if its building igloos at the North Pole, joining the gypsies, or working at the meat counter at Stop and Shop. If you want it, find a way to put in the work to get it. NOTHING ever came easy worth having. Don't find fault in other people's happiness and skills. My dad always said of his crew when he was manager at a car dealership, his people were all like different tools in his box. Some were good at some things, others at something else. Together they made a great team. But forcing someone to do something they aren't good at/didn't like always always backfired. Ok, now its time to do some quotes. Thank God for the calculator. There aren't enough glitter pencils and candy erasers (remember the strawberry scented ones?!) to make me do long division by hand ever again.

If YOU need a logo, shirts, or complete marketing materials, visit me at www.tamaramorrisongraphics.com! 

I Love Peanut Butter, and I'm a Little Selfish. You Should Be Too.

Are you ever sitting there, doing something totally nonchalant like clipping your toenails, or maybe something magnificent, like watching the sunset in Maui, and you realize, suddenly, that you will NEVER know what it would be like to experience this life as anyone else? Never. I mean this point of view you have, right here, right now, reading this, is something no one else will ever know.

It's scary really if you sit there and ponder it. There are billions of us, yet no two experiences on this planet are ever the same and YOU ONLY GET ONE.

I have a scar on my right knee from when I was trying to "surf" by standing on a pool tube NEXT to the pool. Of course, I fell off and diced my knee open. My grandpa was supposed to be watching me, but he had fallen asleep. (A normal occurrence for him!) Every time I look at that scar I remember him. I have calluses from weightlifting that remind me how much I love it every time I look at my hands. I love reggae music and peanut butter and chicken with cinnamon and mustard on it. My daddy is still my biggest supporter. Some people have never met their fathers. And I will never have to know what that's like.

Is this how they make Peanut Butter?!

I will also never know what it's like to be a child that was abused, or to come from a huge family. And you won't know what it's like to still get bothered by the smell of burning brakes and metal on the highway. Or maybe, you will, but not because you were going 70mph on January 10, 2010 when you got struck from behind and spun around three times into a bridge, walking away from your destroyed car with only a broken nail. Maybe you'll have a similar story. But it won't be exactly the same. The story of your life can never, from start to finish, be the same as my story.

Only one person is there with you, from the moment you're born till the moment you die. Only one person knows what scares you, what you love, what hurts, what you really think, all your scars, what it looks like when you ate some bad pigs-in-a-blanket, and you have your body rebelling from both ends...at once. Not pretty. Not pretty. That person is you. You live and die with you, my friend. You know what else lives and dies with you? Everything you do in your little slice of time and space here. There seems to be a few reasons I see, that people think they shouldn't fully ulilize that finite slice. But it's time to knock those to the curb and write some plot twists into your story. Here's why you might be reluctant...

1) You think people are going to remember  - People love you. They do, I promise. SOMEONE (several someones!) is deeply effected by your presence. But we all think people care far more about us and our stories than they do. And it holds us back. You don't want to be seen in high school wearing hand me downs because the other kids will laugh. You don't want to go to the gym because people are going to recoil in disgust at your back fat. You don't want to start a business because you might fail and people might see. People might say you suck. People might see you fall on your ass if you get up on stage and try to walk in heels and a bikini, like I'm about to in a week. Yup, should that happen, they'll see. They'll laugh. It will suck. And in ten years, no one will remember including me. But YOU WILL always remember that thing you wanted to do but never did because of the things you thought people might say and think. People are going to think and say things about you anyways. If you do nothing, they'll say your a lazy recluse.  Remember, you live and die with you and you alone. When you're 80, sitting on some nursing home porch with drool down to your armpits, most of them won't be there. You will though.

2) You're afraid of being selfish - "Selfish" is painted as this horrible concept in our society. Its widely agreed that its bad to be seen as selfish. To care about ones self. But if you don't even care about yourself, who the heck else is going to? I think, acting selfish, and BEING selfish are two different things. Acting selfish, would be that trait we all don't like. Being mean and arrogant, unwilling to help people who need you, putting everyone else last, having no consideration for other people's feelings or situations. But BEING selfish, could simply be taking care of YOU and taking the time to work on the one person you have complete control of. Invest in you. You have nothing to give to anyone else if you're so busy ignoring your own thoughts and aspirations because you feel guilty chasing your purpose for being here. By doing your thing, you inspire other people. Be it your children, your friends, and strangers you've never even met. And that is the very definition of UNselfish.Giving isn't always giving time, or money, or THINGS to a charity on a poster. It could be giving positive vibes.

3) You get too attached to important people in your life - We all have that friend. The one who you think would probably jump headfirst off a bridge if their significant other ever left them. They claim to be "so in love". They don't do things if the other person doesn't like them. They do things BECAUSE the other person tells them to. They don't really do much without the other person. But who are THEY? What do THEY give to this thing called existence?  I have been with the same person for 8 years. We like some of the same things of course. But we like a lot of different things. I'm a fitness competitor. He works out, but he has no desire to go as hard as me for that goal. I use that same mentality to run my business. He prefers being part of a team/company. He plays softball and loves it. I don't even know which way to run. (I'm NOT exaggerating) I can't swim in the ocean. Hate it. He's a fish out there. He races cars. Cars are shiny and pretty to me, but I have the same interest in racing as he does in counting grams of carbs. Yet we mesh nicely. He doesn't tell me I can't go to the gym. I don't tell him to stop racing. At the same token, he tells me if I'm being a crazy bitch. I tell him if he's being a dumb ass. If we ever split, I will be lost. I love him. But I will still be Tamara Lynn Morrison, artist and designer. I will still have that. I've had that since I was born. I will still love fitness. I will get up at 7AM everyday and do those things. I will live for them as I do now. We choose other people to walk our paths with us. But we should never choose to cling to them and let them drag us by the neck. Never make anyone else your everything. Because when/if they leave, you will have nothing. You will be nothing. At the end no one can die for you. You will breathe your last breath with your own two lungs. Why live for your life for someone else??

Find your own passions. Be a little yes, SELFISH and put those dreams first. Then give the happiness those passions give you to other people who deserve to be in your life. UNselfish, see? This life is yours and yours alone. You only get one story, write the book so that when it closes and gets filed away on the shelf of humanity, it deserves a big freaking spot. And please, at any party where they are serving pigs-in-a-blanket, steer clear. Not.....pretty.

Motivated to start living out some dreams that require a designer? ;) You know where to find me www.tamaramorrisongraphics.com

Hanging up the Real Pants.....Big Changes for TMGraphics!!

So one day, perusing quotes online (because I'm seriously the type of weirdo that does that...no seriously!) I came across some quote by this man, Paulo Coelho, and ever since then, I've been kind of obsessed. I'm pretty sure every thought this guy has is genius. And no, I haven't read any of his books yet, its bad but I only read books once a year....on long flights. Better get booking one then, right?

Anyways, Tamara Morrison Graphics is now my full time job. As of last week. As in I don't work for anybody else right now, and I am going to do whatever I gotta do to keep it that way. And reading enough quotes by this guy, reassures me that I'm NOT entirely crazy.

Sometimes I still wonder if I'm crazy. You might too. You probably work somewhere, in a building, with set hours and fluorescent lights and rules about cellphone use and what time is appropriate to call your doctor and schedule your yearly colonoscopy. And you probably need to wear pants. Dammit, now that's the hardest part right there.

Now this isn't some fluffy dream story about following your passion and quitting your damn corporate job to knit blankets out of alpaca wool in the desert while riding on the backs of pink unicorns while money flies of out their asses and into your bank account. AIN'T GON HAPPEN. Sorry.

I've been planning to be a designer since.....well since forever. I went to school for it. My dad has been telling me I'd someday have my own design business since I was 16. I thought that was absurd. Who would want to sit at home all day with no friends and no shiny desk and no pants. What kind of life was THAT going to be??? So I insisted I get an office job, so that I might become important. I stopped designing. I didn't even open Illustrator or Photoshop for a couple years. Because I was super important. I pulled staples, and scanned files, and picked up phones with a fake cheery voice. But for someone who was and always will be creative, it got intolerable. Fast. I realized it would not, and could not go beyond this for me. I didn't go to school for anything fancy. I wasn't going to go applying for $50000 a year jobs and getting them.....or if I did...liking them. Same office, bigger nameplate. It wasn't for me.

Somewhere in there, I DID start my design business, but it was small and rough going, when you miss every client call because....well cellphone use is monitored. Email is blocked. You can't meet anyone because you're wasting away on Facebook mobile sneakily in the corner, heart racing every time the bosses go by. So step one happened. I left. I left what most people would consider "stable". It wasn't a lot of money, but it was THERE unless the corporate headquarters burned, every week. No matter if I sat on Facebook or invented a machine that regenerated brain tissue. Same amount. Always.

I left for a shakier bridge, but a bridge nonetheless. It had less hours, and more flexibility. And Tamara Morrison Graphics grew. I should say, it STARTED. With more time, and the bulk of it being during the day, I could call people, meet people, email people!! The difference was very clear. And for a while, it worked. Dream life by day, drone by night. Then the night got well, darker. Usual dramatics ensued that always occur in a place where people work daily for money and not much else. Rules tightened, for reasons which I could not logically see. At the same time, there was nothing to do. I perused Facebook and Instagram and watched the clock mercilessly. I snuck in client emails. I got caught. I snuck in client phone calls......andddd parking lot meetings. I didn't get caught. But I felt like a drug dealer at a couple of those sneak meetings!

Now I believe strongly, that life and guts show us the way long before logic does. Most people don't listen. Most people accept things, or create the opposite of what would get them the life they desire, whether its by choice or subconsciously.

One lovely day I realized, my current employment situation was NOT going to work, for reasons we don't need to get into. But I knew I had to jump ship.... before it sunk. So I saw another ship floating past and I jumped. That ship looked rickety at best, but I ignored that. Even though I knew that one too, would sink. I got another mediocre job.

This one proved to be an even greater lie and inconvenience. The hours were nothing like what I was told they would be, and would have put me back at square one ( below it actually, less money!), with no time to meet clients, take calls, or emails. I had a client meeting that following day for an awesome opportunity....that I would have to cancel. AGAIN. For a near minimum wage (yup that low) job. Because they couldn't tell me my hours until mere moments before I had to work them, via text message, despite asking countless times. So that was it. Every fiber in my body calmly told me to just let it go. Leave, go be a freaking graphic designer. Equally mediocre jobs will always be there if needed. Go to that meeting. Get that job.Win that client. I was dying to put my entire self into making this happen. So I typed an email to the captain of that rickety ship saying I would not be in the next day. My best friend of 8 years and biggest supporter Kevin hit send FOR me when I hesitated. It was a done deal. I was living my dream starting 6 AM tomorrow. I went to my meeting, and I got my client.

It has been not even two weeks. I've never worked so hard in my life. I don't look at the clock. I don't go on Facebook. I don't need to. I am 100% fully absorbed in what I am doing. I think its called passion, and hustle.

I saved a lot of money in the six years I spent at home working full time in an office. I don't have kids. I have the best living partner and family in the world. I am SO LUCKY. I know everyone doesn't have the same opportunities. Believe me, I know. And I know this isn't going to be easy. I am scared. I am nervous. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't.

But if you want something, you will do whatever it takes and you won't think twice. You won't complain. I work weekends now. I work nights. Both of which I hated with passion and still would at any job. I work every second that I'm not in the gym, my other raging passion, but that's for another post. But what is work? I mean this is all I want to do. I don't want to watch TV. I don't want to go to the bar every night. I want to go to Florida and lay under a palm tree, and design. And next week, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

I don't know you. I don't know your dreams or your circumstances. I don't know if the reason you aren't doing what you really want is valid. (Or maybe you ARE, in that case, awesome!! ) But you, inside, you know. ANYONE can get somewhere better. Realize it won't be perfect, it won't be easy and it might be stupid in other people's eyes at first. But who cares. This life is yours. Start planning. Do ONE LITTLE BITTY THING every single damn day. Fill out that application. Call that client, hang up that ad, get off your thrown built of excuses. You're not trying hard enough. I have by noooo means "made it". But I have never tried so hard for ANYTHING before.

A client put it well to me last week as we talked about our mutual passions, fitness and business. She said after a great lifting workout, you don't SEE anything, no change right then. But there are thousands of microscopic tears in your muscles. Eventually, those muscles rebuild. Again and again. And then you start to see the changes from your efforts. You start to see growth. That's why going to the gym once won't do a damn thing. But going every day even when you are sure its hopeless, and progress HAS to happen.

And it already is, for me. It will for you too. You will fail with 100% certainty if you change nothing in your life. But as long as you do one tiny thing daily, 100% failure is NOT a promise. Its always a chance, but there's a chance you will get somewhere, too. So I will keep making tiny tears in this each day and build it up. And it will hurt and it will be hard and I will worry and panic and cry and celebrate and suffer and fail and rejoice and I will live to the fullest of my ability. And of course the best part? You guessed it, if (no WHEN) this all works out, I will never have to wear real pants again.

Follow my journey, and of course hit me up for all your graphic design needs!! :)

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