Friends Till The End.....Why Don't We Have More?

Every now and again, you find yourself at a funeral. Sad music, sad people, weird clothes. A body on display like a turkey on the Thanksgiving table, except you're not sure if you should look or not. Can the deceased hear you? Are they really dead? What's dead like? 

Who will be there?

I found myself in such a situation, when my then boyfriend, now fiance's grandfather passed a few years back. I sat with the family, looped in a solemn horseshoe formation around the casket as people paid their last respects.

As I watched everyone pass, I couldn't help but feel suddenly, overwhelmingly out of place. Here I was, only having known the man for the past five years, yet I was front and center for the last moments of his time above ground.

I wanted to be there, wanted to support my boyfriend, but I wondered, was this who he expected to be left standing when he died? Would he be disappointed with this turnout? Did I even deserve to be here?

In 70 plus years of life, just think of all the people he'd known. From his first friends in grade school, to high school, his first job, former girlfriends, bosses, people he'd met doing sports, the list goes on and on and on.

And at the very end, here was me and a few other people. And this is who and what it'd all come down to.

That got me thinking about how sad and how scary it is, that we can all count on one hand the people who TRULY care about us. We go through people in our lives like we do coffee filters, and the time we take to brew each relationship before we change that filter, seems to be getting increasingly shorter.

How many people have you lost? No I don't mean they died, I mean simply "lost touch" with? Not because you wanted to or should have (that's a whole different story) but simply because you nor they could be bothered to continue to hold the relationship together? Your best friend in elementary school, do you still talk? Your college roommate? The person you met in zumba class and went to dinner with a few times?

Our relationships these days seem like a revolving door. We meet because we have something in common, be it work, hobbies, classes, mutual friends, whatever. We talk, we bond, we hang out, and then slowly, slowly, we talk less. We stop hanging out. Someone moves. Lives change. And soon we don't talk anymore at all. All those little things we told each other no longer even matter. We didn't mean enough to each other to withstand the heavy pull of life.

And I have to admit, sometimes it breaks my heart.

How many times have we become close to someone for a time, telling them every detail of our day to day lives, only to have it fade away as though we'd barely met at all?

Perhaps this is a natural part of life, and we're only meant to know some people for a very short time. They might come into our lives to help us with a problem or solve an issue, and for nothing more. But sometimes, maybe it would be nice to forge more friendships that would last until the end of our lives.

Not fancy, hang out every second friendships, but friendships that you could pick up right where you left off, friends that will be there for you no matter what happens friends that love you. We all have a few like that. Why cant we have more?

Relationships, like everything worth having in life, take work. We seem to want to do less and less work. It's easier to simply stop working to be a good friend and find someone else that fits our current needs. People and things change, and its easier to go out and find replacements than to work on what we already have, and add to it.

I'm guilty of holding onto strings better left to fray. When I befriend someone I try to give it my all, but I can say the only people who haven't let me down are a couple of my girls and my fiance. Probably good that I'm marrying him then!! ;)

Everyone else turns out to be somewhat of a letdown, They stop talking to me suddenly or slowly, they fade away without reason, they lose interest in working for a friendship. It makes me sad. But I know that I am not alone. I see it happen everywhere, with everyone. I'm sure I'm guilty of being the letdown at least once, too.

Naturally, that's made me less sensitive to people that talk to me. "New friends" if you will. I am always happy to get to know people but I don't expect much to come of it. I don't expect them to remember me when I'm 75, or 45, or in many cases, 30.

What does this teach us? To always embrace ourselves and our independence. The things that keep me happy I've learned to find within myself, my design, my work, my goals. Fitness. My dogs. People are additions to your life, and shouldn't ever become your reason to exist, or your motivation to go for those things you want for yourself.

Perhaps you must let them fall in and out of your life, maybe that's how its supposed to be. Perhaps life is meant to be lived meeting, loving and losing as many friends as we can.

That doesn't mean it isn't sad when we realize someone we used to (or still do) care about has stopped talking to us slowly. That doesn't make it any easier when we leave a job and we never see the person we spent day in and day out with, ever again.

What if it didn't have to be that way? What if we put a little more effort into telling the people that we want in our lives, that we want them there? Or better yet, showing them. What would we have to lose? I'm not talking about horrible exes, or mean bosses, or former friends who turned into something we don't even want to know anymore.

No I'm talking about those silent faders, where nothing ever went wrong, nothing really changed, but the friendship ended because no one put in the effort. Those are the saddest losses, those are the ones that make us wonder if anyone truly cares about us at all.

So...... go out there, weather it be in your personal life or your business life, and send an old friend a message. Meet up. Tell your current friends they mean something, and don't allow them to fade without any negative reason for doing so. Cut people slack. Forgive minor imperfections and offenses.

Put in some damn effort. Just like you should with your professional life, your spouse, your kids your health and your pets. Put in some effort and care a little bit.

Someday that's gonna be you. Laying in that coffin. When all is said and done who is going to be there to remember you and what you meant in your time here? Assuming they haven't passed before you of course, who will be able to say they really knew you through a big portion of this thing called life?

Who will you support throughout this life, who do you want there. There's never a wrong time to remind them of that. Remind them now. Before the sad music and the weird clothes and the coffin thing.

Before its too late.

You Are Not a Tree. Show the World Who You Are.

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

I think it does. I think it makes the same sound it would if it were surrounded by a crowd of people.

But you read the quote. No one is around to hear it. No one cares. No one will come chop the tree up into logs. No one will plane the logs down into boards. No one will build a chair or a table or a baby crib out of that tree. It doesn't matter if it's among the finest Mahogany in the country. It will rot, marred by maggots and larvae, unseen and forgotten into the ground.

It could have been so many wonderful things.

Like all trees do, it began as a seed sailing on a puffy little cloud, or some happy crap like that. (More than likely, it was stuck to a fox's left ass cheek, and was carried a couple of miles before dropping off.) It found a comfy place to live, and it put down roots. Because its a tree, it cant put a for sale sign out, call for a U-Haul and move. It would be stuck there for the rest of its life. It would have to wait for people to find IT to determine it was worthy of being made into something.

Good news.You are not a tree! You can move wherever you want. You can interact with whomever you want. You can be made into whatever you want.

Of course there's always gonna be that crowd that wants to sit home in their pajamas and is content working at the 7-11 for the rest of their lives. Key word: wants. Getting by doing the minimum is enough for them, seriously. But what if that's not you?

What if you want to start a company, what if you want to create art seen around the world, what if you want to be a pro athlete or create a clothing line or increase awareness and raise money to cure a disease? You can't be the unseen tree. And you can't be scared to rip yourself up by the roots.

You need to be everywhere. People often think its bragging, or gloating about themselves if they continue to promote to the world what they do well. We all know that asshole on social media that posts 3040 selfies of everything they do and every other post says "F#*K the haterssss!"  But just WHY does that person bother you and I so much, you fellow hater?

No its not because you're jealous. You're actually, seriously nauseated by their content. It's because their content isn't real. Everything's always perfect. They never get upset, or fail or have a bad day, or fart in a crowd and blame someone else, or fail to wash their hair for six days. You, unfortunately, can't relate to them. You fail often and forget to be perfect. Therefore, you wish they would just go away. They don't make you feel good about yourself. They make you feel bad. Why would you buy what they're selling or support them in their missions?

The people and businesses you look up to and ultimately buy from and support make you feel great. They share not only the good, but the bad. They make noise and its real. They put themselves out there flaws and all. You can relate, it feels like you know them. You'd buy sawdust in a package from them because even if  you've never met them, they're your friends, and you trust your friends.

So there's good noise and bad noise. And then there's no noise. We all know that artist that THINKS no one will like his work so he hides it in his closet, even though he's the most amazing thing you've ever seen. Or that great writer who was told by someone that publishing a book is unreasonable and stupid, so they put that dream on the shelf and stayed silent. Or that ice cream shop whose owner doesn't know or care how to use a computer, so they aren't on any social media. No one knows they make the best banana split for 50 miles.

You're good at something and you have dreams. Whether you think you'll ever get there or not, you don't stand a chance if you don't put it out there. Social Media has made it easier than ever to share with the world what those are, and to remain humble. Don't spam people or be fake and perfect. Be real. Be someone they can know without ever having met you. People go with what they know and hear consistently. They support it, they think of it often, they buy from it.

Be in people's heads. Not screaming spammy crap, but be there for what you're good at and for who you are. Don't be afraid to be imperfect and don't be afraid to be really good at something and tell the world. You're good at it because it was meant for you and you love it. You're going to mess up a LOT because you're human.

You're not a tree. You can do whatever it takes to succeed. Email everyone you know and be yourself. Do it again a couple months later. Talk to people, meet people. Walk up to them even though you have no idea what to say. You'll look stupid. You will. You'll feel stupid. Deal with it. Anyone who got anywhere, dealt with it. It'll separate you from everyone that quit.

There's so many cool people out there, with cool examples and inspiration. Whatever it is you want to do, someone probably already did similar. Find out how and then do it better.

Talent is worth nothing if no one knows you have it and you're too scared to use it. Its yours, go own it before its too late. Be the tree that grows next to the Eiffel tower, not in the middle of Montana. Make sure everyone hears you when you fall.


For graphic design and help with YOUR social media for business as always check out www.tamaramorrisongraphics.com :-)

The Dog Ate My Life Checklist.....Peace Out 2014

I don't remember a whole lot about this time last year, except that I still drove a 99 Pontiac Grand Am, and I wanted my hair to grow out terribly badly after hacking wayyyy too much of it off in the summer. 

I worked as a front desk receptionist, and I had recently discovered Walden Farms no calorie pancake syrup, and cookie dough Quest Bars, which altered my life forever.

Doesn't sound that exciting. Because, it wasn't.

But then came 2014. And I'm realizing now just how much things have really changed for me. 

I'm sitting here typing this at 3:59 on a Tuesday, after a killer leg workout with a good friend. I have a crazy, insane, perhaps slightly possessed 7 month old puppy at my feet. She's chomping away at a pig ear, and five seconds later she moves to a rubber bone, and five seconds after that shes running 4094 laps around the coffee table like Satan himself is chasing her.

Meet Bailey, just one big change in 2014! 

 

I have Photoshop and Illustrator open on my computer, and both contain art files that people are actually paying me to create. I have spreadsheets open with profit and loss and expense statements. (And I did math to get them.) I have a dinner date with one of my oldest friends later. And yeah, I'm wearing sweatpants. 

Unbelievably to myself, I'm not dead! I'm not broke! I'll max out my IRA this year, and I can still afford peanut butter! 

Looking back, I guess this was one of the most "successful" years of my life. This was the year I started making my dream life a reality. But it's been the hardest year too. 

I've said I QUIT to a job with nothing at all lined up. I've met more strangers than I can even count. I've gone to networking meetings, and stood up in front of crowds to pitch my services, and try to explain my passion for design in 30 words or less.

I've walked into more businesses, wearing really uncomfortable pants and blouses and heels to talk to people who've never met me before and sell them on my offerings. I got a lot of freaking no's. And blank stares. And nice brush offs.

And I got some yesses.

I made an idiot out of myself on more than one occasion. I didn't always have the right thing to say, or the right props to pull out to impress them. 

I've sat there in tears because no one was emailing me back, no one was ordering anything. I've sat there in tears because everyone was ordering everything all at once. 

It's been hard.... yet not hard enough. Next year I want this to be bigger, better, faster, stronger. Every single day, I go to sleep feeling like I haven't done anywhere NEAR enough. And I think it's going to be that way for the rest of my life. I think that little nagging voice is what keeps me going where others would stop. 

I think you can find that voice too. 

We don't need a new year to start a new way of living, but its a convenient marker in time. Too many of us simply go through the motions, check off the neat little boxes. College, job, meet perfect person, house, dog, kids, retirement, die. How many people stop to think if it's what they REALLY want? What if you want to move to Bangladesh with your pet hedgehog, stay single and live in a tent? Why not? This life is YOURS. If half that list is already checked, and you don't want to check off any more neat little boxes, rip the thing up and burn it. It's not too late. Put the house up for sale. Start a business training donkeys from your tent on the beach in Hawaii. So what if everyone says you're crazy.

Be crazy. Save money. Do the research. Do so much research. Then do what it takes. 

Stop checking off the boxes and start making 2015 the year YOU go for what you really want. I want even more. More experiences, more meetings, more cool projects, more chances to inspire you, more trips, more huge freaking mistakes and eff-ups that show me what I need to improve upon. Bring it.

Rip up that list. You can't take it with you when you go. You can't take anything. Not the money in the bank, not the house, not the car. Leave behind some cool stories for the people who knew you to tell. 

Leave knowing you used up all your spins around the sun to the fullest. It's like a game show. You only get so many turns before you go bankrupt and the game's over.

Start now.

Stop Getting Stonewalled By Your Own Excuses!

Imagine this. You decide you want to build a huge stone wall around your property. You have plenty of money for materials, that wont ever be an issue. You have plenty of time. You have the time to work on it every single day. You have the strength, your health is decent. There isn't really anything stopping you.

You start in on the wall, laying one stone at a time, fitting them together, not perfectly, but soundly. It starts to seem like its taking an awfully long time. Longer than you thought it would. You aren't even a third of the way around the property! You start to think you must be nuts.

Your back is getting sore, your hands are developing calluses. Some days, it rains and you get even less done. Some days, the weather is perfect and it seems like you could lay stone forever.

Then, there's a huge storm. Gusty winds knock a huge tree over. Right into your wall. A good portion of it is crumbled. You're devastated.

Meanwhile inside the house, laundry is piling up, your wife says she doesn't see you enough, and the people are your real-life-job are starting to question why you're always so tired you can't even operate the coffee pot lately.

How about that beard though?!

This is the part, where most people quit. They tell themselves, eh, its not worth it, who needs a wall, it was silly anyways, there's no point. On to more important things.

The wall never gets finished. Neither does that car in your garage. You didn't lose those 20 lbs off your middle. Your great plan to redecorate the front bedroom resulted in three streaks of sample paint on the wall before you made up that excuse as to why it didn't NEED redoing.

We all do it. We all start things and don't finish them. And perhaps some things SHOULDN'T be finished. (Like that robot you were working on to clean the toilets. Isn't that why you had kids?)

But for the most part, the ONLY way to finish something, is to continue to do it in the first place. If you just kept laying one stone at a time, even if you slowed  your pace, you'd have NO CHOICE but to meet  your goal of finishing. It would manifest itself.

Consistency. That's the word of the day. Whatever goal you have will NEVER be met without it. Even when you encounter setbacks, and it seems IMPOSSIBLE, you must keep throwing rocks on the pile. When you stop, you ENSURE you won't get anywhere. If you never stop......the possibility of success never dies. In fact, its almost bound to happen!

Of course, some days, you look at that huge yard spread in front of you that still needs stone, you look at the muffin top oozing over your waistband, you look at that car in the garage and the HUNDREDS of bolts  you need to turn before its complete. Its overfreakinwhelming. You'd rather go to the dentist for a root canal or something, than continue.

It looks like Mount Everest. But what if you were hiking that mountain, and it was foggy, and you couldn't see the top? You'd have NO IDEA how far away the top was, or how far you'd already come. You'd only see a few feet ahead, and you'd keep putting one foot in front of the other, until you got to that top.

That overwhelming factor has been removed. What if you made the choice to remove it, from every goal you have?

One day you go back out and decide ENOUGH, its time to start rebuilding your wall. You don't look at the rest of the yard, or the neighbors yard, or think about how freaking HUGE that gap is where the tree fell. You simply lay a stone. And another, And another. You throw on headphones and jam out to Van Halen. And Justin Beiber (I won't tell). You lay another stone. When you look up, the gap is filled. You've overcome your setback. You've realized that sometimes you just have to put the blinders on to your own excuses and GET IT DONE.

Tomorrow you'll lay another stone. And everyday for the rest of the year, stone after stone until that damn wall wraps all the way around your yard. You won't think too much about how much you have left, and you won't pat yourself on the back for how far you've come.

Those small goals are the key to staying consistent. Getting out there and doing SOMETHING every single day. But, for now its time to go in and clean the toilets. Unfortunately, you never did quite get that robot up and running.

Self Employment = Sweatpants? Yup.....That Almost Happened

Why is it, that when people blog, they always seem to drop off the face of the earth after a time?

Most people just get bored of it maybe, or cant find the time. The time part was I suppose, some of the reason I had stopped. It didn't seem the best use of my time to be writing, when I SHOULD be out looking for work, and doing the work I did have. But maybe, its not a waste of time, because people are reading and connecting. If I want to run a business, connecting matters.

You're nosy. You want to know what other people are doing. You secretly want to know how you stack up compared. You want to look at someone else's life and be like "Damn, well that sucks, I feel better about MYself." Or, "Damn, that person is doing so much while I'm sitting here watching reruns of 90's sitcoms eating Chubby Hubby out of the pint."

Because you're nosy, you read. Because you read, you remember me and you learn what I do, who I am, and you feel like you know me.

Maybe somewhere in my life, in the chaos of everything that I do, and that you do, we have something in common. I'm sure of it. But until you get to know me, I'm just another face on the street, another car in traffic that didn't pull out fast enough, another person to wait behind in line at the supermarket. I am nothing. You are nothing. And we both forget that we are all human and all trying for something in this life.

Well.....that was deep, but anyways, I suppose another reason I did not blog for a while was, that I wasn't always some shining star of perfection going forward in starting my biz, and I didn't want anyone to know. Cliche, right? But honest.

Shortly after my last entry in July, I hit my first realization that......all my income now relies on me. It was a normal morning, and I was paying my credit card bill online, like I always do every month. And suddenly something clicked when I looked in one of my bank accounts and it was down, and that particular account had nothing coming into it.......

Now you might be like well, yeah, duh, you stopped working a normal job! That account was the one I had always put that money from my part time job into, and I have another for my biz income. So naturally, the cash would stop flowing into that account.

But that morning...it just.....hit. HARD. My stomach rose into my throat and I couldn't even breathe for a second. There was nothing coming into that account. It would deplete to nothing. My thoughts raged in a catastrophic direction. "What if I never get another customer? What if I use ALL of my savings? 75% of my money is invested and I can't touch it. I'm almost out of peanut butter, I don't deserve to buy another jar!  WHAT IF I HAVE TO LIVE ON THE STREETS?! "

With that, in a zombie like state, I remember walking outside in my pajamas mind you, and sitting on the back stoop and just crying. This was IT. I'd made a huge mistake.

I remember calling my dad next, pretending I had a question about my computer or something, but all I really wanted was for him to tell me what to do. He's always my rock for stuff like that. I don't listen to many people. I always listen to him.

He told me what I already knew. First off, take the emotions out of it or you'll just drown in them. Are you going to run a business or a soap opera? Second off, this IS SUPPOSED TO BE HARD. You cannot, CANNOT sit around and wait for it to come to you because it never ever will. You always think you'll be different, and special, and awesome, but hey guess what..... you're NOT.

Nobody cares. Work harder.

With that I put on real pants. Yup. Itchy, restrictive pants with a real zip up fly. I went out and around to local businesses and met with people. Was it uncomfortable? Sure. Did it work? Immediately, no of course not. But its building a network that WILL work in the future. Its knowing people. It's getting in their heads.

You're not getting into anyone's head by laying in your penguin print pajamas in  your backyard in July. But you might cause your neighbors to consider calling an institution for you.....

It was July, but that didn't keep these penguins indoors!

I still find for me, fitness is a huge salvation, mentally as well as physically. The two are so similar. Everyday I eat and train and I look no different immediately after. But look back five years and its TOTALLY different. Those tiny efforts everyday add up. If I didn't make those efforts, that would add up too. And I'd get nowhere.

It's the same thing in business. If I do nothing, I will surely get no where. But if I do a million little things, even when I don't want to and I'm sure its a waste, I have no choice but to move forward.

And I have. My bank accounts haven't emptied. I've scored some pretty sweet projects and some steady projects too. I am NO WHERE NEAR where I want to be, but this is only my sixth month of doing this. And there IS no end to what you can do when you want something. It will NEVER be enough, ever. You can always work harder.

So, I am back. I had a rough patch over the summer where I questioned my entire existence, pretty much. You're probably laughing because you knew it would come. But I did too! I knew some points would be utter crap. And I accepted that. Life will always get better, and worse again, and better again.

I'm not perfect! I didn't wake up and find success. Most mornings I wake up and find my hair in a knot and an undying need to pee, just like everyone else.

As I sit here, ironically, in my penguin pajamas (hey at least its Saturday, and its actually cold OK?), I'm going to tell you, being a graphic designer working for myself is hands down THE hardest thing I've ever done.

But there's no way I'm going to give up on it that easily. I'm lucky enough for the circumstances to even let me follow my magical unicorn path. Damn freaking lucky. You might not be that lucky. But that doesn't mean you cant start somewhere, try something, however small.

The biggest risk is the one not taken. You're gonna have horrible, crappy, awful no good days where you swear your alone and an idiot and this is ridiculous. And you're going to have stellar, amazing days where you are positive you are the most awesome successful person and your life freakin rocks.

Neither will last. Id rather fly way high and crash way low than live a string of mediocre days. However you live your days, it is 100% certain you only get to live them once.

Make it count.

You Got a Fast Car.....Until It Gets Hit By A Mack Truck!

I drive a VW Beetle. We met one day back in February. It was in the middle of that cold streak, where it hurts to go outside but you're so sick of wearing the same stupid three coats, that you just wear a sweatshirt for something different, because, you wont need to be like, OUT in that cold for more than thirty seconds at a clip right?

If your car breaks suddenly and irreparably, and you need to go car shopping immediately, you might have wished you were wearing that coat. That was the situation I was faced with that day, my seventeen billion year old Pontiac Grand Am whom I'd purchased for $800 four years earlier, had finally made an abrupt, but predictable exit to the big junkyard in the sky. Having to work my normal job in the morning, I needed a car ASAP. My dad and uncle knew someone who knew someone who knew someone that sold cars, so off we went for a deal hunt.

Everyone who knows me knows I HATE spending money. I cling to money like Jack and Rose cling to that door in the last scene in Titanic. Some people collect hockey cards. I like to collect money. I just love to watch it grow. So the news of needing a brand spanking new car didn't really delight me, although I knew it was coming for some time.

The guy at the car place showed me a sheet with all the cars, and my eyes were looking for price first and ugly factor right after. Jeep? Meh too boxy. Buick? HEEEELLLL no, I'd had enough boat cars for a lifetime after my first Pontiac Bonneville. Beetle? Well, it was cute! And the cheapest thing on the lot. I was sold. I went out to meet her. It was love at first site when she looked up at me with those giant headlights, she looked so happy! (so what if Beetles stemmed from Hitler, they look so darn cute) I drove the car off the lot that day for $6000 cash. Ok, I didn't drive it, it was standard, and Id never driven standard at the time and had no idea how. But I like a challenge, I'll get into that story another time.

Anyways, I had several people in the last few days ask me how I think I can do what I love and ever have any money. No, right now, two months into doing this full time, I don't make "crazy good money". There used to be a time when I would pour over stats published about how much people in my industry are supposed to make, and how much average people make, and do I measure up?!?! Then I realized something. I ain't average. And I don't even want to be, so why worry about averages?! I have everything I need and want right now....and the point is that's different for everyone, and for 90% of that, you have total control over your life design. With the exception of medical emergencies and the like, YOU control how you set up your life. Forget stats ok? Because they are just that, AVERAGES. YOU might be the one that doesn't fit with that.

Think of crash test ratings. You spend hours looking for the perfect forty seven star frontal crash test rated minivan with side air bags, ceiling air bags, arm rest airbags, airbags in the cupholders and windows that you cant open from the inside unless you're cleared with the CIA, lest someone fall out mid cruise. You're going along on the highway, and Bob the truck driver fell asleep after one too many hours on the road. Hes crossing the median. He's got 20 huge steel pipes in his truck. You know where this is going. No cupholder airbag could have stopped that beam from taking you straight out in this case. Behind your supervan, was Joe. Joe drives a 1995 Geo Prizm. It has a negative 40 star crash test rating. Did they even put airbags in that thing? Joe slams into your van. Metal pipes come within inches of his head. Joe should be dead. But Joe walks, yup walks away from the crash. You're dead. Crash test ratings and averages, made zero difference here. This was a unique situation. The angle of the crash was just so that Joe walked out without a scratch. And you didn't. You're dead.

He lived, you didn't?! How's THAT for averages?

The point here is averages don't guarantee, promise, or mean, ANYTHING really. Fortunately, you have a bit more control over your life design than you do over your life on the road. People ask me how I live? I don't spend thoughtlessly. I don't have a TV. I buy new clothes rarely, I have MORE clothes than I know what to do with. I do my own hair. I paint my own nails. I am blessed with no loan payments, because owning a business was a plan I considered WAY back in high school with my family. I don't have kids. I live in a place where the rent isn't high, and I share it with someone. My cars have all been used and bought in cash. My biggest expense is food, because that's also the one "hobby" I've chosen to pursue.

Ok, I know what you're thinking. What a loser, God shes boring, her life must be so boring and absolutely suck, she has NOTHING, I have so much more, what does she DO with her time?! You'd be wrong on all counts, in my eyes. I am rarely bored. I don't care about TV at all, I forget it exists actually. In my free time, I work out because I love it, I research working out, I research and read online, I talk to my boyfriend and friends, I go outside. And oh yeah, I build my design biz. Because I want that. Because I KNOW I cant support five kids and a BMW and yacht on what I make now. NO WAY. But I'VE CHOSEN THAT.

You might choose different. You might want kids, more than you want to not work a "stable" job. You might be ok with spending all week away from the huge house you have to keep paying on. You might be ok with that big cable TV bill. That is entirely your choice. But don't just have things, because stats and society says you have to have things.

Do you WANT to pay for 7000 channels a month? Can you think of something better you might be able to do with your time here than lose it to fake story lines? Can you find a couple things you want to watch online for free? Can you drive a car because it gets you somewhere, not because its shiny and new? Do you need to spend hours working to pay for someone to coat your fingernails in plastic? Can you live in a cute little place that you made all yours, not caring who it impresses? Do you really want to start a family at this time? Can you still get a good workout in with $12 TJMaxx headphones instead of $300 dollar Beats? You get what I'm saying.

Of course some things will ALWAYS be beyond our control, as is the case with the metal pipes on that truck. You may fall ill, a surprise child might come along, your house might burn down. NO ONE KNOWS SO WHY WORRY! Only control what you can, to get you to a place of TRUE happiness that has NOTHING to do with what the stats say should make you happy. I'm pretty freaking happy, in my no TV small house with my non manicured nails in my favorite yoga pants, eating $13 dollar nut butter from a spoon handed down from my mom. Back up, HOW much was that nut butter?! Its ok, we all have ONE thing we enjoy spending on ;) Keep it balanced!

THINK big picture about the future, BUILD the life you want, do not throw money down the toilet and hope happiness will blow up back out at you. Usually what comes back up in that case, is pretty shitty. Pun intended. Start making the changes and thinking of how you can get closer to what you SERIOUSLY want. What are you willing to sacrifice? ALL goals require some sacrifice. HAPPY FRIDAY!

As always, check out www.tamaramorrisongraphics.com to see what I do!

Why A Lack of Patience, Just Ain't Gonna Cut the Mustard!

You know what? With most things,  I am NOT what you might call,  a patient person. I hate waiting. I don't like standing in lines. I hate stop lights. (Don't even get me started on the stop lights in the town where I live, we could have an entire blog on that...) I go nuts when I want to eat (that's basically always), and I'm trying to open a new bottle or jar and there is one of those stupid plastic unbreakable seals and once you slice that bastard off there's another stupid seal under the lid. "Sealed for Your Protection," they always boast. Look, I'm at the point where I'd rather risk contracting incurable venereal diseases than fight with this stupid plastic. Therefore I'd rather you protected me just a TAD less, and let me have some damn mustard, or the one that's going to need protection is YOU, French's.

NIGHTMARES

I lose my cool over packages that take 304959 years to deliver. What, is this thing coming from Mars, or New Jersey?  I, like many people in today's society, want what I want and I want it now. But at the same token, I've noticed I'm able to shut my impatience off for a couple of things in my life. I realized just how important that ability IS, and how it really can help a person achieve long term goals. Impatience, like so many things we deal with is just an emotion. Control that, and you will have a much easier time finding success in all areas of your life. Trouble is, most people don't seem to know how! It can be learned though, by changing how you think about your big goals.

Most people who read this probably know, I am an NPC Bikini Competitor, and I had a competition this past weekend. I took second in that competition, and I made so much improvement over last year where I took dead last in this same show. More important than that, was that I was absolutely floored by the amount of texts, messages, and well wishes and congratulations that I got on that competition. I have never really been motivating to anyone that I was aware of, and to have so many people tell me that, literally blew me away! So humbled and grateful! So I wanted to thank everyone for that, as a side note! Fitness however, is one example of something in my life, where impatience is NOT a factor for me. Building a killer physique is NOT going to ever be a fast process. IT TAKES YEARS. You all see how I look on that stage and yeah, that's great, but you must know, it has taken me upwards of FIVE YEARS to even get this far!!

I still remember my 19th birthday, it was also Father's Day, so the entire family went for a hike to the Heublein Tower in Farmington CT. It's basically straight uphill to the top for a good 20-30 minutes. I. Was. DYING. I was wheezing and sweating and it was just miserable. My mom said "I worry about you, you NEVER get any exercise!" She was right. Ever since I'd started dating my other half, we had sunken into a happy place of french fries and ice cream dates and nights on the sofa. For the first time in my life that summer, I was putting on some pudge. And I knew it. I remember I vowed on that day to do SOMETHING, no matter how little, to get some exercise, and stop eating so much crap. That began my love affair with research via the internet. I tried so many things you have no idea. I tried 100% squeaky clean eating and "jogging". God I HATE running. The shin splints killed me. It was so boring. I didn't get any leaner. What abs? I then started lifting weights. Along with the iron, I lifted every piece of food I saw that was "clean" into my mouth, under the excuse that I lifted, I could have it. I gained weight and NOTHING fit. I told myself it was all muscle. I still didn't have any abs. I decided it MUST be carbs that were keeping me from my dream body. I proceeded to stop eating them. I mean STOP. I didn't eat a single piece of fruit, bread, potato or candy for over a YEAR. Ill tell you what I did eat though. JARS of nut butter and cans of mixed nuts. There were barely any carbs so it was ok right? WRONG. I weighed more than ever! All that jogging wasn't even working. So I did more research, and took a totally new approach to everything, and slowly, got it right. I learned a lot of what didn't work the hard way. I don't run anymore. EVER. I HATE IT! I eat carbs. I DON'T eat uncontrolled handfuls of nuts anymore ( hmm probably the giant amount of calories in 309845 handfuls of nuts a day couldddd be why I wasn't getting lean!) The point here is, the end result you see there, took me YEARS. I have YEARS to go on those goals too. If that didn't teach long term goal patience.....I don't think anything can.

The same mindset I had with fitness, is how I am able to start and run and continue to develop my design business. I started design back in MIDDLE SCHOOL. I took my first class in eighth grade and I actually won an award at the end of the year for something I made, I think it was a box for golf balls, hah! That was 13....YES THIRTEEN years ago. I was 13 years old and I'm now 26. I've been working on honing that passion for HALF OF MY LIFE. I went down a long and mistake riddled road on the way to where I am here now, just as I did with fitness. I got caught up in what everyone else was doing in high school, I stopped designing and started Facebooking. My parents encouraged me to pursue design and a business/freelance career, I just wanted to do what everyone else was doing and go to four year college and be a "corporate person" or something, and work in a nice office with nice heels and skirts and my name on some cube. Yes, at one point, I WANTED that. I wanted to do what I thought adulthood meant. And so, I got myself an office job or two and well, you know the rest. You know I hated it. The free spirit kid I'd always been was still in there somewhere and she wanted out.

The point of these stories is, that these are two big, giant areas of my life where patience wins. And I'm OK with that. Here's why: Because the way I look at it is in terms of the big picture. I am NOT going to be an IFBB Pro athlete tomorrow. Or next year, or next week. I am NOT going to be a millionaire with a thriving business either. Not now. But, the biggest thing that keeps me going to bed so happy every night,, is knowing I made a chip in those goals, every single day. Forget being rich, or a pro, or all the glory. The road is so long, you can't see the end. ACCEPT THAT. Forget the end. That's the biggest secret I have to getting somewhere. Forget the end. Everyday just drive another mile down that road. DO NOT STOP. Do not stay inside and sleep. Get in the car and get on that road. So what you didn't make $10203 today. Did you talk to one more person who might give you some work? Did you respond to another few emails from prospects? Did you call someone with their estimate? Yes? Ok then you did not waste this day. You did not. Did you instead sit there and think about the cigarette boat you're going to buy when when General Mills asks you, personally, to redesign their entire line of cereals, while simultaneously watching Friends reruns saying you'll start tomorrow? Then sorry, you wasted that day. You will never succeed. 

So the take away here? Patience is an emotion and YOU have control. Part of that control, is breaking your big aspirations down into actual small goals that you can focus on TODAY. You will not meet that big goal today. Or next year. But you will eventually get there, IF you keep moving in smaller steps. I NEVER thought I'd actually HAVE a full time business, or step on a physique stage. Then one day it happened. There's still so much to do, but its progress. You can't ask for more. Stop asking yourself for more than little steps. Let that expectation go. Sleep at night with your big goal still un-achieved (!) But, DO SOMETHING even if its TINY. Let that be enough for today. Repeat tomorrow, and the next day and the next. Like dirty socks, you just add a couple to the pile a day and before you know it, its rolling out of the hamper and you can't even contain it anymore! Of course no ones ultimate life goal is doing laundry (again) but, LITTLE THINGS ADD UP OVER TIME!!

I still hate those damn plastic food seals. But, if I just calm down and remove the label in a human manner instead of that of a rabid chipmunk, I would probably still hit my goal of mustard covered bliss, with a lot less trouble. Pshhh who are we kidding, can't always be patient.....time to eat........!

"I Think There's Been a Mistake..." "Did You Say STEAK?!?" "No, MIStake!"

You know what I could go for right this second? A burger. Like one of those big juicy ones, totally still mooing on the inside, grill charred on the outside. On top, Id like mushrooms and onions, but not raw onions, because I'll burp those up until July 4th. I'd also like some cheese. Cheddar. Lots of serious ketchup. And mustard. No bun, and a pickle.

FOODPORN!!!

Ok ok, I'm totally dreaming of what I will have after I walk the stage this weekend to compete in my first NPC Bikini show this season. If you know me (or if ya don't) you know I have been preparing for this thing for basically a year, when I did terrible in my last show, for many reasons. I could have chosen to run and hide and never give it another shot, but dammit I just love to lift weights too much and if so many other people could get into stage shape, why not me? I decided this time, I would do it my way, or no way. I'm not one for following direction. Never was. For me, its never enough to have just listened to someone and done something, I need to know the WHY and the HOW. If someone tells me what to do with no reasoning behind it, I struggle to even bother to DO it!! Plus, I've learned I need to say I did something MYSELF, or it's a nearly worthless accomplishment in my mind. That's my independent streak talking I suppose. Anyhow,  I decided I would learn this getting shredded things for myself, and if I looked decent come show season, I'd give it a go.

I ended up turning out an OK product over the past year, so this weekend that's just what I'm going to do. I've had some great help and support along the way, those people know who they are. But ultimately, this is me and me alone. My project, my product, my work.

Now, I don't believe in turning away good advice and help, and hearing it and processing it alone can teach you so very much. Listen to what people who have been in your shoes before you say, and then do what you will with it, but always LISTEN!!! It's all part of your path, and even bad or wrong advice, can show you what is RIGHT when you may not have seen it before.

Fitness, is so much like business. I may elaborate on that in another post some time. But, even Sir Richard Branson, who started over 400 companies under Virgin Group, said the secret to success? "Work out."

Why? I think, because it requires a certain mentality. The external after all, is a manifestation of the internal. Yeah, your grey matter. Your brain. Its more powerful than your physical being. So if you can grasp the mentality it takes to create an elite physique (or even a better than average one, which isn't a crazy aspiration in America) what the $*#& else can you do?!?!

I'm not here now to tell you entirely how to get into that mindset. Some of it is probably personality type. I'm a little OCD about details, but I am THE LEAST organized person ever. Do you want to see my kitchen right now? No, no you don't. (Sorry mom and dad!!) But, when I design, I measure to the millimeter to center things. I count my diet like one extra mushroom will result in needing to ride one of those scooters around the Wal-Mart. I pay disgustingly close attention to artistic detail. But I can't see how dirty the shower is. Probably a little bit sick in the head. :P

At any rate, the point here today is, no matter what goal you are pursuing, you're chicken shit scared and you probably aren't going for it as much as you could be. What are you scared of most? Mistakes. Messing up. More importantly, public mistakes. Because you care what people think. Look back at old posts where I already told you that.

Last year on that stage, I kinda looked terrible. I did two shows last year, but I only really ever talk about one. Because the second one, I was dead last. I was unprepared. My diet was a mess and I was hardly following one anymore. My hair was barely done. I looked unkempt and brought a half assed package to that stage. I messed up. It was public. Everyone saw. It was my fault for not taking control of my situation and being responsible for myself that day.

I see the same in business. Recently, I made a mistake there too. I messed up. I missed an error. I had 1000 of something printed up and they were all incorrect. It happened. It's going to happen. Because despite my detail orientation, I am human. I make mistakes. I miss things. And when it happens, it will be public. People will see. People will hear. Sometimes, in other unfortunate cases recently, things blow up and mistakes even make the news.

At first, I was disturbed. I didn't want a bad reputation, I was honestly questioning my own abilities, and wondering if I even DESERVED to work with anyone else if I was just going to disappoint them or make more mistakes. You can always be more careful. But you have to realize there's ALWAYS a risk of mistakes. ALWAYS ALWAYS. Why the hell would I let that risk set me back, TAKE RISKS or you simply cannot progress.

Then I thought about that physique show. Yeah I publicly messed up. But NO ONE REMEMBERS. I pulled myself up by my bootstraps after that blunder and I didn't quit. I found another way. I kept doing it because I love it. And I ignored the failure of last time. I blocked it out. I moved on. This weekend a lot of people, probably you if you are reading this and you know me, are going to be watching me to see how I do in this show. You've maybe been watching me work on my self project for a while now. And I may totally lose and bomb out again. Might make a mistake. Might fail. And hundreds of people will see. But I'm not scared of that because no matter the outcome, I know that journey was worth it, not for the end result but for the other 364 days I worked to get there. And there will be 364 more to follow, because I love to train and I'm not doing this to prove anything to anyone.

People ask how I get up there and I'm not nervous. Because why should I be? It's nothing in the end. Its 30 seconds. It's 30 seconds out of millions of seconds of my life, for a purely physical sport. There will be years of shows ahead of me if I so choose to participate in them.

And in my business, there will be years ahead to progress in that, as well. I will certainly make more mistakes. 100% freakin guaranteed. But I can't let that fear hold me back from showing you and everyone else exactly what I'm capable of and how I can help you. Handle mistakes with honor. Don't ignore them or run from them, but instead apologize, face them, fix them, work around them, and most importantly, learn from them! They, like all those people who offer advice, are the best teachers on your path. Everything and everyone you encounter brings you where you need to go. Let it. Risk it. Don't fear opinions. Fail and fail publicly. Let everyone see you do it. Hell, give them binoculars. What of it? You'll still wake up tomorrow and you'll still find happiness in the things you love. Let that fear of MISTAKES go and instead, strive to make as many damn mistakes as it takes to learn enough to be very successful. The only mistake you should stop making, is inaction. That one is the ultimate blunder that simply cannot be overcome. So get off your asses now and go screw something up with enthusiasm!

On the upside, this writing took just long enough, that its almost dinner time! No burger or steak yet, (or chocolate, I realllllly want some fudge covered peanut butter, or peanut butter covered fudge) but
I do get some pretty tasty eats. Somewhere, someone gets none tonight. Somewhere, some cow is settling in for his last evening before becoming my post show refeed. Ok, that was a little depressing. Sorry! Keep the vibes positive people! Until next time!

If you want to risk an awesome encounter for you next design or tshirt project, check me out at www.tamaramorrisongraphics.com . Mistakes not guaranteed ;)

I Love Peanut Butter, and I'm a Little Selfish. You Should Be Too.

Are you ever sitting there, doing something totally nonchalant like clipping your toenails, or maybe something magnificent, like watching the sunset in Maui, and you realize, suddenly, that you will NEVER know what it would be like to experience this life as anyone else? Never. I mean this point of view you have, right here, right now, reading this, is something no one else will ever know.

It's scary really if you sit there and ponder it. There are billions of us, yet no two experiences on this planet are ever the same and YOU ONLY GET ONE.

I have a scar on my right knee from when I was trying to "surf" by standing on a pool tube NEXT to the pool. Of course, I fell off and diced my knee open. My grandpa was supposed to be watching me, but he had fallen asleep. (A normal occurrence for him!) Every time I look at that scar I remember him. I have calluses from weightlifting that remind me how much I love it every time I look at my hands. I love reggae music and peanut butter and chicken with cinnamon and mustard on it. My daddy is still my biggest supporter. Some people have never met their fathers. And I will never have to know what that's like.

Is this how they make Peanut Butter?!

I will also never know what it's like to be a child that was abused, or to come from a huge family. And you won't know what it's like to still get bothered by the smell of burning brakes and metal on the highway. Or maybe, you will, but not because you were going 70mph on January 10, 2010 when you got struck from behind and spun around three times into a bridge, walking away from your destroyed car with only a broken nail. Maybe you'll have a similar story. But it won't be exactly the same. The story of your life can never, from start to finish, be the same as my story.

Only one person is there with you, from the moment you're born till the moment you die. Only one person knows what scares you, what you love, what hurts, what you really think, all your scars, what it looks like when you ate some bad pigs-in-a-blanket, and you have your body rebelling from both ends...at once. Not pretty. Not pretty. That person is you. You live and die with you, my friend. You know what else lives and dies with you? Everything you do in your little slice of time and space here. There seems to be a few reasons I see, that people think they shouldn't fully ulilize that finite slice. But it's time to knock those to the curb and write some plot twists into your story. Here's why you might be reluctant...

1) You think people are going to remember  - People love you. They do, I promise. SOMEONE (several someones!) is deeply effected by your presence. But we all think people care far more about us and our stories than they do. And it holds us back. You don't want to be seen in high school wearing hand me downs because the other kids will laugh. You don't want to go to the gym because people are going to recoil in disgust at your back fat. You don't want to start a business because you might fail and people might see. People might say you suck. People might see you fall on your ass if you get up on stage and try to walk in heels and a bikini, like I'm about to in a week. Yup, should that happen, they'll see. They'll laugh. It will suck. And in ten years, no one will remember including me. But YOU WILL always remember that thing you wanted to do but never did because of the things you thought people might say and think. People are going to think and say things about you anyways. If you do nothing, they'll say your a lazy recluse.  Remember, you live and die with you and you alone. When you're 80, sitting on some nursing home porch with drool down to your armpits, most of them won't be there. You will though.

2) You're afraid of being selfish - "Selfish" is painted as this horrible concept in our society. Its widely agreed that its bad to be seen as selfish. To care about ones self. But if you don't even care about yourself, who the heck else is going to? I think, acting selfish, and BEING selfish are two different things. Acting selfish, would be that trait we all don't like. Being mean and arrogant, unwilling to help people who need you, putting everyone else last, having no consideration for other people's feelings or situations. But BEING selfish, could simply be taking care of YOU and taking the time to work on the one person you have complete control of. Invest in you. You have nothing to give to anyone else if you're so busy ignoring your own thoughts and aspirations because you feel guilty chasing your purpose for being here. By doing your thing, you inspire other people. Be it your children, your friends, and strangers you've never even met. And that is the very definition of UNselfish.Giving isn't always giving time, or money, or THINGS to a charity on a poster. It could be giving positive vibes.

3) You get too attached to important people in your life - We all have that friend. The one who you think would probably jump headfirst off a bridge if their significant other ever left them. They claim to be "so in love". They don't do things if the other person doesn't like them. They do things BECAUSE the other person tells them to. They don't really do much without the other person. But who are THEY? What do THEY give to this thing called existence?  I have been with the same person for 8 years. We like some of the same things of course. But we like a lot of different things. I'm a fitness competitor. He works out, but he has no desire to go as hard as me for that goal. I use that same mentality to run my business. He prefers being part of a team/company. He plays softball and loves it. I don't even know which way to run. (I'm NOT exaggerating) I can't swim in the ocean. Hate it. He's a fish out there. He races cars. Cars are shiny and pretty to me, but I have the same interest in racing as he does in counting grams of carbs. Yet we mesh nicely. He doesn't tell me I can't go to the gym. I don't tell him to stop racing. At the same token, he tells me if I'm being a crazy bitch. I tell him if he's being a dumb ass. If we ever split, I will be lost. I love him. But I will still be Tamara Lynn Morrison, artist and designer. I will still have that. I've had that since I was born. I will still love fitness. I will get up at 7AM everyday and do those things. I will live for them as I do now. We choose other people to walk our paths with us. But we should never choose to cling to them and let them drag us by the neck. Never make anyone else your everything. Because when/if they leave, you will have nothing. You will be nothing. At the end no one can die for you. You will breathe your last breath with your own two lungs. Why live for your life for someone else??

Find your own passions. Be a little yes, SELFISH and put those dreams first. Then give the happiness those passions give you to other people who deserve to be in your life. UNselfish, see? This life is yours and yours alone. You only get one story, write the book so that when it closes and gets filed away on the shelf of humanity, it deserves a big freaking spot. And please, at any party where they are serving pigs-in-a-blanket, steer clear. Not.....pretty.

Motivated to start living out some dreams that require a designer? ;) You know where to find me www.tamaramorrisongraphics.com

You're Not Trying Hard Enough

There was a point in my life, as everyone knows by now, that I wanted nothing more than to just leave my boring full time sit-in-a-dark-corner-and scan-endless-documents-all-day, job. It was sucking the life from me, and my design business was like a seedling that had just begun to sprout...but realized it was under one of those ugly lawn gnome statues you find in the home and garden section of KMart for wayyyy more than anyone should pay for something so unsightly.

Don't get stuck under this guy.......

In other words, I was stifled. Limited in what I could do given the current situation. I had to find a way to bend and get into the sun, or I would never grow.

One of the biggest hold backs, was the notion that people would probably think I was silly. Family, friends, complete strangers, anyone I who asked "So what do you do?" You're supposed to have stable employment. You're supposed to work a 9-5. You're supposed to not really like it. And you're supposed to DEAL with it and shut up dammit. That's what being an adult is! Liking what you do is for those far far away people you read about on some CNN feature, or Instagram, or blog.....ooops :P.
There is NEVER going to be a "right time" to do anything in life. You will feel when its often going to happen though. I knew it was going to happen. Change was in the air. I spent many nights in frustration and tears about HOW change was going to happen.

One of those nights I was talking to a friend about my frustrations, and all the reasons (excuses) as to why I shouldn't get out of that job and even get something part time at night for a while as I transitioned. In the midst of my excusefest and pity party, he said five words that I STILL repeat to myself almost daily, and I have since he said them: "You're not trying hard enough".

Why those stuck with me, was because those words were so.......true. I had every reason in the book as to why I wasn't doing what my soul wanted. Why the hell COULDN'T I go for what I wanted? Was I indeed NOT trying hard enough? Was there more I could do? Well, yeah. Shut up and apply for part time jobs and sneak into the bathroom at the full time gig, risk being sworn and shouted at, and lie about being sick and go on interviews. And you know what? That's exactly what I finally did. And it worked. Within a week of trying hard enough, I had another part time job that would give me the time I wanted to work on my biz. All I had to do was stop with the excuses, EMBRACE THE RAGING DISCOMFORT and try. I know I made it sound pretty simple. But.... maybe it is. Here's the main reasons I found and still find, that I'm not trying  hard enough when I want something, be it business, fitness, or life, and they might be the same reasons as you.....

1) It's Too Hard

Yeah, as simple as that. Getting more than what you already have in life, requires hard work. Like actual work. We don't often even know what that is in today's environment. In many cases, you're born, your parents enroll you in mandatory public school, and you then go to some kind of college because that's what you're supposed to do, and parents go broke and you go broke, and everybody goes crazy making sure its going to happen. It's ok to sink into debt, its your education! If you don't go that route (because that route simply is NOT for everyone!) then maybe you end up working at Arby's and people tell you you failed, so you believe that too, and you accept that, and you...don't try any harder. Or say you do graduate college, and you get your big job, and all you have to do in some cases, is, show up for the set hours, and do what they tell you, and you take home a paper with some amount of money on it each week and life goes on. You get that money whether you took 304 bathroom selfies, or crunched numbers for that  8 hour day. It just IS. Simply for being. It's taken for granted.

If you want to start a business, or if you want to move up to a valuable position where you currently work, or work somewhere else (because self employment isn't for everyone either, and I'm not saying it is) you may have to TRY HARDER. You may have to stay later, you may have to do the things you don't always want to, leave your phone in the car, talk to your boss even though he might get really really mad, or ultimately, you may have to look for other jobs in the bathroom and lie to go on interviews to get the hell out, and change your pants for them in your car in the commuter lot on the side of I-84.

You may have to do whatever the hell it takes because this is your one life. It's going to be uncomfortable. You won't like it. You'll cry and stay up thinking and panic and wonder and it would be easier to ignore it all and just keep on doing the same things. And you know what, most people do.

2) You're Too Worried About What Other People Will Say

One of the biggest stoppers of me just getting out of that job sooner, was wondering what other people would say when I did it. When people ask what you do, you're supposed to tell them that you work at XYZ and you do this there, and its OK, and that's that. I didn't want to tell people I was self employed or left my job, or I'm trying to be a designer. The looks they would give were ones of worry and fear almost like "Oh jeez, look for Tamara on the street corner when this fails soon......what is she, NUTS, she'll never get anywhere doing that, good thing I have a job, she must be seriously lazy!" And you know what, I still get those looks when I tell people what I do. I just don't care anymore and I don't let them stop me.  Because maybe I am crazy, I KNOW I'll fail at some things here and this will be hard. I do FAR MORE WORK NOW than I ever did at a company. Because I have to! I don't work, I DON'T have a preset amount of money coming to me. You better hustle. And that little bit of "fear" is what keeps me motivated. This is my life. Not my parents, not my friends, not some strangers. I have great support in my life. I have lots of savings. I wasn't downright stupid. But I don't care anymore about "the look" when I tell people what I do or that I quit. I just smile. Because thier opinions ultimatly don't matter in my life! Fancy that!

3) You Didn't Plan for Anything

The last reason you're not trying hard enough? You didn't plan on making serious long term changes to your life in the first place. If you want to make a change and you know it, start NOW. Maybe its not time to start looking for new jobs yet because you make a lot where you are. And you owe a lot. You bought a new house. A new car. You're having a baby. You have a serious addiction to crap you don't need. You think savings accounts are for rich people, or something. Welllllll you're really not trying hard enough then. It's time to go without. To cut the junk thats weighing you down. Think about the bigger picture of your life! You work at Arby's and you want to instead go back to school for nursing buttt you cant afford it with the 490594 bills you have. How bad do you want it? Bad enough to go without cable? Bad enough to ditch that fancy car and get something used? Bad enough to stop buying new clothes you'll never wear? 14 Venti lattes a week? Bad enough to stop by your local bank and see what this savings stuff is? You get my point. I didn't make much at that steady job. It wasn't even $30000 a year. I'll tell you that right now. But I saved nearly everything in that 6 yrs of working there. I don't own a TV. I almost never buy new clothes. I bought my car in cash. I share rent with someone. I don't subscribe to endless crap that sends a little bill in the mail every month. I have a prepaid smartphone. I buy food, gas and insurance and that's seriously IT. And you think I probably have no fun and I hate my life. I actually love my life. Love it. Love it so much. Because that stuff isn't the key to a happy existance. And I have a nice savings account and various other investments as well. I used Wikipedia to learn about some of them. My family and the bank taught me the rest. It was hard and no fun. But I knew I'd have to try if I wanted to see anything come of it.

I don't know your circumstances. These were just mine. I know I am lucky. You maybe have kids, or dependents, or something else that requires you to spend. Keyword: REQUIRES. Whatever your circumstances, I'm sure there is SOMETHING that you could do without. And you can ALWAYS do research to learn how to better yourself! Get on job boards, look for grants to get into schools, work with the situation you have. You can ALWAYS MAKE IT BETTER ALWAYS! Even I can today. There is SO MUCH I can do to grow my business. I'm STILL not trying hard enough. You aren't either. That said....time to wrap this up! Lots to do! Get to it!

Remember, you can always learn more about me and what I do at www.tamaramorrisongraphics.com. I promise I'll try hard enough on your projects ;)

The Curse of The Plastic Circle: Why You Need to Escape!

“Work” seems to have quite a different meaning than it did thousands, if not hundreds of years ago. People used to rise when the sun did, and begin the tasks associated with daily survival. Food had to be gathered and prepared, shelter had to be built or repaired, children had to be cared for. No one rolled over in their cave and begged for five more minutes of sleep, if they wanted it, they simply took it. Time was spent outdoors, moving around, sometimes slowly, sometimes at a rapid pace. There was no schedule, there was no plan. Life simply WAS. You did what you had to to survive, but it never felt like our modern definition of “the workplace.”

Now, things are much different. We live by a plastic numbered circle hanging on the wall. We pry ourselves from sleep when we aren’t ready to wake up in many cases. We get in our cars, pedal to the medal, better get on the road before the dreaded plastic hands click just one notch too far to the right, and we risk losing our job. Job. We no longer NEED to gather and find food or build shelter, and we pass the kids off to someone else. The majority of us then enter a building for at least 8 hours ( that’s 8 times around The Plastic Circle!) where we often sit, no sun in view, and complete our daily tasks. Maybe today, we finished everything by 11AM. Too bad. There are still six cycles of the pointers around The Plastic Circle before we may leave, and do as we please.

Given today economic climate, we should be grateful to have these “jobs”. And in most cases, unless we are completely irrational, we are. We realize we need money rather than muscle to obtain food and shelter and child care. And therein lies the sad part. Somewhere along the line, we seem to have decided, that the physical work of getting these things for ourselves, was crap. We didn't want to do it. Sitting at a desk or standing at a register became supposedly better then braving the elements, having to move, having to think and stratagize. Most people accept this new societal norm. They don't really question it, although most complain (some more than others!). We know we will grow up, and get a job in a nice building (if we're lucky, these days) complete our tasks, go home, repeat. For 40 + years. We'll take pity on those that harvest our food, and build our houses. Good thing we don't have to do anything that hard.

Some people, have made their peace with it. They are happy, they are fulfilled. This, is excellent. Isn't the goal for any life, to be a happy one? But then there will be others, who have a desire for something different. Some of those will ignore it. Others, will take action. Perhaps in the starting of their own business, or a financially risky move into a different work position that would bring them more fulfillment. In the end I've never heard of anyone that regretted these changes. Changes that allowed more freedom less invisible ropes imposed by time. Along with these choices, come increased responsibility. You no longer have everything provided. You may have to gather for yourself. You may have to outsmart the other hunters. Scary right?

Yes. But if there is any amount of unrest in you, if you ever at all for one second wonder if there’s something else for you, the answer is yes. This isn’t the answer for everyone. You may find 100% joy in what you are doing. If so, GREAT keep doing it, until you don’t. ( If ever). Then change it. You and you alone can change it. No matter how hard it seems, no time, you have kids, you're broke, you just can't. Do something. Every day. No matter how small. Apply for that new job. Research starting a business. Instead of watching another episode of Dancing With the Starts tonight, read up on your dreams and how to get there. Stop thinking its not for you. It is. Why NOT you? Is there something genetically superior about the other guy over there living your dream? Nope. He just made the choice to act. I too, have made the choice to act. So far in this business endeavor, I don't regret a thing. I feel alive invigorated and excited! Is it hard? Oh yeah. Is there a long way to go? Soooo long. Would I ever stop? Hell no. Am I more grateful than ever for what job I already have at the same time? More than ever.

So there you have it, a little insight into why I'm following a dream I've had essentially forever, starting my own freelance graphic design business, Tamara Morrison Graphics You too, can start whatever it is you REALLY want to do, right now. Even if you just Google it to start! Do it today. Or take option two, and wait till tomorrow. Or next month. Or until 2023. If you're gonna wait that long, I hope you bought a really nice Plastic Circle to watch.