You Are Not a Tree. Show the World Who You Are.

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

I think it does. I think it makes the same sound it would if it were surrounded by a crowd of people.

But you read the quote. No one is around to hear it. No one cares. No one will come chop the tree up into logs. No one will plane the logs down into boards. No one will build a chair or a table or a baby crib out of that tree. It doesn't matter if it's among the finest Mahogany in the country. It will rot, marred by maggots and larvae, unseen and forgotten into the ground.

It could have been so many wonderful things.

Like all trees do, it began as a seed sailing on a puffy little cloud, or some happy crap like that. (More than likely, it was stuck to a fox's left ass cheek, and was carried a couple of miles before dropping off.) It found a comfy place to live, and it put down roots. Because its a tree, it cant put a for sale sign out, call for a U-Haul and move. It would be stuck there for the rest of its life. It would have to wait for people to find IT to determine it was worthy of being made into something.

Good news.You are not a tree! You can move wherever you want. You can interact with whomever you want. You can be made into whatever you want.

Of course there's always gonna be that crowd that wants to sit home in their pajamas and is content working at the 7-11 for the rest of their lives. Key word: wants. Getting by doing the minimum is enough for them, seriously. But what if that's not you?

What if you want to start a company, what if you want to create art seen around the world, what if you want to be a pro athlete or create a clothing line or increase awareness and raise money to cure a disease? You can't be the unseen tree. And you can't be scared to rip yourself up by the roots.

You need to be everywhere. People often think its bragging, or gloating about themselves if they continue to promote to the world what they do well. We all know that asshole on social media that posts 3040 selfies of everything they do and every other post says "F#*K the haterssss!"  But just WHY does that person bother you and I so much, you fellow hater?

No its not because you're jealous. You're actually, seriously nauseated by their content. It's because their content isn't real. Everything's always perfect. They never get upset, or fail or have a bad day, or fart in a crowd and blame someone else, or fail to wash their hair for six days. You, unfortunately, can't relate to them. You fail often and forget to be perfect. Therefore, you wish they would just go away. They don't make you feel good about yourself. They make you feel bad. Why would you buy what they're selling or support them in their missions?

The people and businesses you look up to and ultimately buy from and support make you feel great. They share not only the good, but the bad. They make noise and its real. They put themselves out there flaws and all. You can relate, it feels like you know them. You'd buy sawdust in a package from them because even if  you've never met them, they're your friends, and you trust your friends.

So there's good noise and bad noise. And then there's no noise. We all know that artist that THINKS no one will like his work so he hides it in his closet, even though he's the most amazing thing you've ever seen. Or that great writer who was told by someone that publishing a book is unreasonable and stupid, so they put that dream on the shelf and stayed silent. Or that ice cream shop whose owner doesn't know or care how to use a computer, so they aren't on any social media. No one knows they make the best banana split for 50 miles.

You're good at something and you have dreams. Whether you think you'll ever get there or not, you don't stand a chance if you don't put it out there. Social Media has made it easier than ever to share with the world what those are, and to remain humble. Don't spam people or be fake and perfect. Be real. Be someone they can know without ever having met you. People go with what they know and hear consistently. They support it, they think of it often, they buy from it.

Be in people's heads. Not screaming spammy crap, but be there for what you're good at and for who you are. Don't be afraid to be imperfect and don't be afraid to be really good at something and tell the world. You're good at it because it was meant for you and you love it. You're going to mess up a LOT because you're human.

You're not a tree. You can do whatever it takes to succeed. Email everyone you know and be yourself. Do it again a couple months later. Talk to people, meet people. Walk up to them even though you have no idea what to say. You'll look stupid. You will. You'll feel stupid. Deal with it. Anyone who got anywhere, dealt with it. It'll separate you from everyone that quit.

There's so many cool people out there, with cool examples and inspiration. Whatever it is you want to do, someone probably already did similar. Find out how and then do it better.

Talent is worth nothing if no one knows you have it and you're too scared to use it. Its yours, go own it before its too late. Be the tree that grows next to the Eiffel tower, not in the middle of Montana. Make sure everyone hears you when you fall.


For graphic design and help with YOUR social media for business as always check out www.tamaramorrisongraphics.com :-)

Cut the Crap, Nothing's Perfect!

There are some citizens of North Korea that believe their Dear Leader doesn't have an asshole. That's right, they believe he's a God. Gods don't eat leftover sushi that's been in the fridge one day too long and spend the next seven hours on the porcelain throne begging for mercy.

But...... I do.

And so you do. 

The "Dear Leader" of North Korea, Kim Jong-un. Yes, he sh$#s!

So many of us only portray to the outside world what we WANT to look like. What we want everyone to see. We Facebook  and Instagram about our super cool awesome lives.

Our big move to Texas. Our engagement to the perfect person. Our new baby. Our 20 lbs weightloss. We look damn near like we're living the dream to all our adoring "fans" that scroll by our content. We hope secretly, in some twisted way, that someone will be jealous of us and the awesomeness that spills from our carefully presented personalities. And they are. Just like YOU get a twinge of envy when you see the supposedly perfect lives of those around you.

But here's what you don't know. That girl that moved to Texas can't find a good job and misses her family more than she thought she would. That perfect couple had a big fight the other night and sometimes they can't freaking stand each other. That new baby kept mom up all night and while shes happy, shes tired and sometimes she misses her old life and just wants to go for drinks with friends. That girl that lost 20 lbs was only eating a few crackers and coffee for three months to get there. You see where I'm going.

It's all lies and exaggerations. All these people you thought were so awesome, struggle too.

I'm guilty of that in part myself. I've been doing great, no seriously great (not lying!) with my business. As I approach a year of doing this on my own, I really can't ask for a lot more. It's been a crazy ride of learning and figuring out what the hell I'm doing!

But waittttt isn't one of my other passions fitness? Didn't I used to pick up heavy shit and put it down and compete on a stage wearing about 18 square inches of glittered blinged out fabric? Yeah. That was indeed me.

Anyone that knows me knows that with me, its 110% or its 0%. There IS no moderate, no in between.

Right now my kitchen's a mess. I think maybe, there's a new species breeding in the sink. I've stepped over my pants from Monday on the floor about 3040 times. That's the kitchen floor. I don't know how they got there. (Get your mind out of the gutter!) That's my 0%.

And then, there was fitness. For the last two years, I've ran hill sprints until I fell over and lifted weights for nearly 3 hours a day 6 days a week. Ran up the stair master until I looked like I'd just been dragged through a swamp for an hour. I starved and ignored it and stuffed a family sized bag of spinach into my face to fill the space where chocolate ice cream should have gone once and a while.

And I loved it. I loved pushing unbelievably hard and doing what most people would have given up on a long long ago. Competing in what is arguably the hardest sport in the world, propelled me to quit my job and start a business and push like hell for THAT too. Don't want to go sell yourself to strangers? Think of it like cardio! Put the blinders on and just go do it. Don't think. Do. You will finish. There is no other way. That was my mentality and still is when I want something.

But unfortunately unlike in business, the body has a point of diminishing returns on the work and time invested into it. After I stepped off that stage it slowly hit me. I was so sick of being hungry. I was sick of eating spinach. I was sick of being cold. I was sick of my hair thinning and having wacked out hormones. I was sick of being tired all the time. I was just sick.

That in no way should discourage anyone else from getting in shape or even competing as healthfully as they can, by the way. I'll say it again, I was EXTREME. I dieted for two years with no break. If someone was walking for cardio I had to run. If someone was lean I had to get leaner. If someone was lifting a lot I had to lift more, for longer duration. I had to do everything the hard way just to say that I could.

My 110% effort was suddenly bringing me down. I had no choice but to finally eat more and to lay off my insane workouts. I worked out like a normal person. I did a little easy cardio. I ate a lot of food. And my veins and cuts disappeared and the scale approached ghastly numbers.

I hated it. I knew I needed it but after being the Mayor of Shredsville for two years, I had  to get on the bus to Normalville and move away. I packed my bags ( most of which was packed into my ass, thank goodness!) and became a "normal fit girl".

It's freaking weird. As far as fitness right now I'm a moderate and balanced normal girl. I lift. I eat ice cream. I feel freaking great. But I'm not this shredded up little freak right now. And I would be lying if I said I don't miss it. It was different. It got compliments.  And yes, It got me business.

Business is one thing where I don't think it will hurt me to give my 110%. And I will continue to do just that. Ain't no one else going to get to the top of this game for me. That too, is really freaking scary and hard. And sometimes, yeah I cry over it. I'm human, just like you.

The point of this little tale is just that. Everyone has this highlight reel that they display, be it over social media, or in person when they talk about their lives. When things don't go perfectly, we don't often share. I've all but stopped posting to my fitness Instagram admittedly, because why? Shall I go "Oh here is me "undoing" all my hard work and failing! Look at this!" I just don't think anyone would find that very mentally inspiring, coming from a purely fitness standpoint.

Still I have nothing to hide about anything that I struggle with. Anything you see me do was certainly backed by struggle and tears and difficulty. Don't ever let those things make you feel like you shouldn't keep going when you have a goal.

Don't ever say "oh but so-and-so built an empire overnight while frolicking through daisies, so why the hell can't I?" No, so-and-so failed and cried and lost and messed up and sucked at life some days.

You just didn't see it because Instagram had them on the beach in Hawaii sipping a mixed drink. In reality, their mom paid for the trip because they were broke and not pictured is the boyfriend that dumped them a week before.

So yeah, I suck. Man I really, really suck. I'm totally lost at what to do sometimes in my business, I didn't even know how to eat enough food for two years, I yell at my fiancee over stupid things and I never fold laundry. Ever.  But I'm not going to let those things stop me from going for what I want 100%. And failing harder. Anything worth going for is going to be riddled with failure. There isn't a way around that. None. So may as well keep on screwing up.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see what leftovers I can find in the fridge. I wish I could report that nothing ever makes me sick from in there, but unfortunately, last week, something did. I don't seem to be missing an exit like the leader of North Korea. Guess that means, I am only human, and I may indeed be visiting the porcelain throne later. How's that for today's highlight reel!

The Dog Ate My Life Checklist.....Peace Out 2014

I don't remember a whole lot about this time last year, except that I still drove a 99 Pontiac Grand Am, and I wanted my hair to grow out terribly badly after hacking wayyyy too much of it off in the summer. 

I worked as a front desk receptionist, and I had recently discovered Walden Farms no calorie pancake syrup, and cookie dough Quest Bars, which altered my life forever.

Doesn't sound that exciting. Because, it wasn't.

But then came 2014. And I'm realizing now just how much things have really changed for me. 

I'm sitting here typing this at 3:59 on a Tuesday, after a killer leg workout with a good friend. I have a crazy, insane, perhaps slightly possessed 7 month old puppy at my feet. She's chomping away at a pig ear, and five seconds later she moves to a rubber bone, and five seconds after that shes running 4094 laps around the coffee table like Satan himself is chasing her.

Meet Bailey, just one big change in 2014! 

 

I have Photoshop and Illustrator open on my computer, and both contain art files that people are actually paying me to create. I have spreadsheets open with profit and loss and expense statements. (And I did math to get them.) I have a dinner date with one of my oldest friends later. And yeah, I'm wearing sweatpants. 

Unbelievably to myself, I'm not dead! I'm not broke! I'll max out my IRA this year, and I can still afford peanut butter! 

Looking back, I guess this was one of the most "successful" years of my life. This was the year I started making my dream life a reality. But it's been the hardest year too. 

I've said I QUIT to a job with nothing at all lined up. I've met more strangers than I can even count. I've gone to networking meetings, and stood up in front of crowds to pitch my services, and try to explain my passion for design in 30 words or less.

I've walked into more businesses, wearing really uncomfortable pants and blouses and heels to talk to people who've never met me before and sell them on my offerings. I got a lot of freaking no's. And blank stares. And nice brush offs.

And I got some yesses.

I made an idiot out of myself on more than one occasion. I didn't always have the right thing to say, or the right props to pull out to impress them. 

I've sat there in tears because no one was emailing me back, no one was ordering anything. I've sat there in tears because everyone was ordering everything all at once. 

It's been hard.... yet not hard enough. Next year I want this to be bigger, better, faster, stronger. Every single day, I go to sleep feeling like I haven't done anywhere NEAR enough. And I think it's going to be that way for the rest of my life. I think that little nagging voice is what keeps me going where others would stop. 

I think you can find that voice too. 

We don't need a new year to start a new way of living, but its a convenient marker in time. Too many of us simply go through the motions, check off the neat little boxes. College, job, meet perfect person, house, dog, kids, retirement, die. How many people stop to think if it's what they REALLY want? What if you want to move to Bangladesh with your pet hedgehog, stay single and live in a tent? Why not? This life is YOURS. If half that list is already checked, and you don't want to check off any more neat little boxes, rip the thing up and burn it. It's not too late. Put the house up for sale. Start a business training donkeys from your tent on the beach in Hawaii. So what if everyone says you're crazy.

Be crazy. Save money. Do the research. Do so much research. Then do what it takes. 

Stop checking off the boxes and start making 2015 the year YOU go for what you really want. I want even more. More experiences, more meetings, more cool projects, more chances to inspire you, more trips, more huge freaking mistakes and eff-ups that show me what I need to improve upon. Bring it.

Rip up that list. You can't take it with you when you go. You can't take anything. Not the money in the bank, not the house, not the car. Leave behind some cool stories for the people who knew you to tell. 

Leave knowing you used up all your spins around the sun to the fullest. It's like a game show. You only get so many turns before you go bankrupt and the game's over.

Start now.

Stop Getting Stonewalled By Your Own Excuses!

Imagine this. You decide you want to build a huge stone wall around your property. You have plenty of money for materials, that wont ever be an issue. You have plenty of time. You have the time to work on it every single day. You have the strength, your health is decent. There isn't really anything stopping you.

You start in on the wall, laying one stone at a time, fitting them together, not perfectly, but soundly. It starts to seem like its taking an awfully long time. Longer than you thought it would. You aren't even a third of the way around the property! You start to think you must be nuts.

Your back is getting sore, your hands are developing calluses. Some days, it rains and you get even less done. Some days, the weather is perfect and it seems like you could lay stone forever.

Then, there's a huge storm. Gusty winds knock a huge tree over. Right into your wall. A good portion of it is crumbled. You're devastated.

Meanwhile inside the house, laundry is piling up, your wife says she doesn't see you enough, and the people are your real-life-job are starting to question why you're always so tired you can't even operate the coffee pot lately.

How about that beard though?!

This is the part, where most people quit. They tell themselves, eh, its not worth it, who needs a wall, it was silly anyways, there's no point. On to more important things.

The wall never gets finished. Neither does that car in your garage. You didn't lose those 20 lbs off your middle. Your great plan to redecorate the front bedroom resulted in three streaks of sample paint on the wall before you made up that excuse as to why it didn't NEED redoing.

We all do it. We all start things and don't finish them. And perhaps some things SHOULDN'T be finished. (Like that robot you were working on to clean the toilets. Isn't that why you had kids?)

But for the most part, the ONLY way to finish something, is to continue to do it in the first place. If you just kept laying one stone at a time, even if you slowed  your pace, you'd have NO CHOICE but to meet  your goal of finishing. It would manifest itself.

Consistency. That's the word of the day. Whatever goal you have will NEVER be met without it. Even when you encounter setbacks, and it seems IMPOSSIBLE, you must keep throwing rocks on the pile. When you stop, you ENSURE you won't get anywhere. If you never stop......the possibility of success never dies. In fact, its almost bound to happen!

Of course, some days, you look at that huge yard spread in front of you that still needs stone, you look at the muffin top oozing over your waistband, you look at that car in the garage and the HUNDREDS of bolts  you need to turn before its complete. Its overfreakinwhelming. You'd rather go to the dentist for a root canal or something, than continue.

It looks like Mount Everest. But what if you were hiking that mountain, and it was foggy, and you couldn't see the top? You'd have NO IDEA how far away the top was, or how far you'd already come. You'd only see a few feet ahead, and you'd keep putting one foot in front of the other, until you got to that top.

That overwhelming factor has been removed. What if you made the choice to remove it, from every goal you have?

One day you go back out and decide ENOUGH, its time to start rebuilding your wall. You don't look at the rest of the yard, or the neighbors yard, or think about how freaking HUGE that gap is where the tree fell. You simply lay a stone. And another, And another. You throw on headphones and jam out to Van Halen. And Justin Beiber (I won't tell). You lay another stone. When you look up, the gap is filled. You've overcome your setback. You've realized that sometimes you just have to put the blinders on to your own excuses and GET IT DONE.

Tomorrow you'll lay another stone. And everyday for the rest of the year, stone after stone until that damn wall wraps all the way around your yard. You won't think too much about how much you have left, and you won't pat yourself on the back for how far you've come.

Those small goals are the key to staying consistent. Getting out there and doing SOMETHING every single day. But, for now its time to go in and clean the toilets. Unfortunately, you never did quite get that robot up and running.

Self Employment = Sweatpants? Yup.....That Almost Happened

Why is it, that when people blog, they always seem to drop off the face of the earth after a time?

Most people just get bored of it maybe, or cant find the time. The time part was I suppose, some of the reason I had stopped. It didn't seem the best use of my time to be writing, when I SHOULD be out looking for work, and doing the work I did have. But maybe, its not a waste of time, because people are reading and connecting. If I want to run a business, connecting matters.

You're nosy. You want to know what other people are doing. You secretly want to know how you stack up compared. You want to look at someone else's life and be like "Damn, well that sucks, I feel better about MYself." Or, "Damn, that person is doing so much while I'm sitting here watching reruns of 90's sitcoms eating Chubby Hubby out of the pint."

Because you're nosy, you read. Because you read, you remember me and you learn what I do, who I am, and you feel like you know me.

Maybe somewhere in my life, in the chaos of everything that I do, and that you do, we have something in common. I'm sure of it. But until you get to know me, I'm just another face on the street, another car in traffic that didn't pull out fast enough, another person to wait behind in line at the supermarket. I am nothing. You are nothing. And we both forget that we are all human and all trying for something in this life.

Well.....that was deep, but anyways, I suppose another reason I did not blog for a while was, that I wasn't always some shining star of perfection going forward in starting my biz, and I didn't want anyone to know. Cliche, right? But honest.

Shortly after my last entry in July, I hit my first realization that......all my income now relies on me. It was a normal morning, and I was paying my credit card bill online, like I always do every month. And suddenly something clicked when I looked in one of my bank accounts and it was down, and that particular account had nothing coming into it.......

Now you might be like well, yeah, duh, you stopped working a normal job! That account was the one I had always put that money from my part time job into, and I have another for my biz income. So naturally, the cash would stop flowing into that account.

But that morning...it just.....hit. HARD. My stomach rose into my throat and I couldn't even breathe for a second. There was nothing coming into that account. It would deplete to nothing. My thoughts raged in a catastrophic direction. "What if I never get another customer? What if I use ALL of my savings? 75% of my money is invested and I can't touch it. I'm almost out of peanut butter, I don't deserve to buy another jar!  WHAT IF I HAVE TO LIVE ON THE STREETS?! "

With that, in a zombie like state, I remember walking outside in my pajamas mind you, and sitting on the back stoop and just crying. This was IT. I'd made a huge mistake.

I remember calling my dad next, pretending I had a question about my computer or something, but all I really wanted was for him to tell me what to do. He's always my rock for stuff like that. I don't listen to many people. I always listen to him.

He told me what I already knew. First off, take the emotions out of it or you'll just drown in them. Are you going to run a business or a soap opera? Second off, this IS SUPPOSED TO BE HARD. You cannot, CANNOT sit around and wait for it to come to you because it never ever will. You always think you'll be different, and special, and awesome, but hey guess what..... you're NOT.

Nobody cares. Work harder.

With that I put on real pants. Yup. Itchy, restrictive pants with a real zip up fly. I went out and around to local businesses and met with people. Was it uncomfortable? Sure. Did it work? Immediately, no of course not. But its building a network that WILL work in the future. Its knowing people. It's getting in their heads.

You're not getting into anyone's head by laying in your penguin print pajamas in  your backyard in July. But you might cause your neighbors to consider calling an institution for you.....

It was July, but that didn't keep these penguins indoors!

I still find for me, fitness is a huge salvation, mentally as well as physically. The two are so similar. Everyday I eat and train and I look no different immediately after. But look back five years and its TOTALLY different. Those tiny efforts everyday add up. If I didn't make those efforts, that would add up too. And I'd get nowhere.

It's the same thing in business. If I do nothing, I will surely get no where. But if I do a million little things, even when I don't want to and I'm sure its a waste, I have no choice but to move forward.

And I have. My bank accounts haven't emptied. I've scored some pretty sweet projects and some steady projects too. I am NO WHERE NEAR where I want to be, but this is only my sixth month of doing this. And there IS no end to what you can do when you want something. It will NEVER be enough, ever. You can always work harder.

So, I am back. I had a rough patch over the summer where I questioned my entire existence, pretty much. You're probably laughing because you knew it would come. But I did too! I knew some points would be utter crap. And I accepted that. Life will always get better, and worse again, and better again.

I'm not perfect! I didn't wake up and find success. Most mornings I wake up and find my hair in a knot and an undying need to pee, just like everyone else.

As I sit here, ironically, in my penguin pajamas (hey at least its Saturday, and its actually cold OK?), I'm going to tell you, being a graphic designer working for myself is hands down THE hardest thing I've ever done.

But there's no way I'm going to give up on it that easily. I'm lucky enough for the circumstances to even let me follow my magical unicorn path. Damn freaking lucky. You might not be that lucky. But that doesn't mean you cant start somewhere, try something, however small.

The biggest risk is the one not taken. You're gonna have horrible, crappy, awful no good days where you swear your alone and an idiot and this is ridiculous. And you're going to have stellar, amazing days where you are positive you are the most awesome successful person and your life freakin rocks.

Neither will last. Id rather fly way high and crash way low than live a string of mediocre days. However you live your days, it is 100% certain you only get to live them once.

Make it count.

You Can Give a Panda Wings, But You Can't Make Him Fly

Remember when you were a little kid, and any time past 8 PM was some kind of magical, forbidden hour you weren't allowed to ever see? What went on at that time, while you were shackled to your race car toddler bed, curtains closed even though the sun was still up on a July night, and told you had to go to sleep?

Sometimes, you might dare crack open the door, you could hear the TV, maybe your mom was knitting yet another scarfsweaterblanket, and you older sister was doing brain busting math problems, calculating how many grapefruits Sally would have if she multiplied her current supply times five, added "x" and ate the rest. A stomachache and diarrhea. That's what Sally would have.

You would run past the scene to "go to the bathroom" and investigate this magical land of the night. There didn't SEEM to be anything special. No flying pandas, no glitter and fireworks in the kitchen. WHY were you never allowed to see this time then?! "GET BACK IN YOUR ROOM AND GO TO SLEEP" your parents would soon shout, having caught on to your plans. You'd sulk back to bed, and swear you couldn't wait to be old so you could just stay up all night!!

Anybody seen this guy?

Well, eventually that time came, and you went from going to sleep at 7PM to waking up then. You realized there WERE indeed flying pandas and glitter and fireworks in the wee hours of the night, and they could often be found at the bottom of a bottle of Jack. There was no "bedtime" anymore.  As a matter of fact, your parents would call you a lazy ass and scream every weekend at you to get OUT of bed during daylight hours. It was awesome....for a while.

Then you got like, a j-o-b. They wanted you to start at the ungodly hour of 8 AM. Suddenly, staying up till 8:30 AM all summer left exactly....negative 30 minutes of sleep every night. Wasn't going to work..... So  you started to go to sleep earlier. First 1 AM, then midnight, then 11, then one night in your mid twenties when you found yourself in between the sheets, alone, in your sweatpants at 8:42 PM it hit you....you grew up. You were going to sleep at this time without your parents yelling at you. You got up at 6 AM because YOU WANTED TO. No one had to tell you to. You had lived and learned. And only then, were you able to realize the serious value of a proper sleep schedule. No one could have told you at four years old that there was nothing special about the night. No one could have told you at 16 that it was worth getting up before noon. You had to make this discovery and conclusion on  your own. (Some people are still working on it ;) )

The point there is, as I was thinking this week, I realized, you just cant make anyone do anything that they don't want to do, and do it well. Its so simple, yet we continue to try. We offer incentives. Most of them monetary. If you get up and mop this nasty floor or analyze these numbers for 8 hrs today, I will give you the money to get those new kicks you've been wanting, or pay your rent! That motivates us to do what we just don't want to. We slog through. We collect $200. We pass go. We circle the board again. 

I see the same in the fitness world. You tell people they have to do this, this and this to get in shape. Time and time again they "slip up". Ooops, I just HAD to eat that cake, my mom was in town, and I just love sugar! You were too sore to do your cardio, so you didn't. You had a stomachache so you couldn't lift at all this week. Your dog had to go out so you couldn't leave home. I've heard all those and more as to why people cant do something. It's to a point now where, when I offer fitness advice, I go in expecting you NOT to listen. Most people simply do not. If you do, you have blown my socks off. I realize you WANT this. YOU and only YOU want this. I didn't make you want it. You made that choice somewhere inside you, that you wanted to hit that goal. That goal became more important than any piece of cake, it propelled you through being sore, it helped you find a way to let the dog out AND make your lifts.

The same goes in this career path I've chosen. My dad told me for the longest time it was a great idea and I would love it. But I resisted. I wanted to do what everyone else was doing and just work a normal job and go to work picnics and wear a skirt. I did that. I had to learn the hard way, that it wasn't what I thought. I then started my business, not because he wanted me to, but eventually it was ME that wanted to. I wasn't happy, and I had to reach my OWN breaking point to change.

Funny thing is, a lot of people seem to have a much higher bullshit tolerance than others. Most people seem to figure "this is the way it is" about everything, from the state of their fitness, their job, their life. They shut off and tamp down their desires to do anything else long, long after they want to. They resist other people telling them what they could do to improve their situation and get mad when its suggested. They don't want it bad enough, they think its too hard.

But whats harder, secretly wasting  your life slogging away, a slave to money, to other peoples expectations, to your own idea of what it "should" be? Or is it harder to put in the work necessary to make a change? BOTH are hard. Pick your poison.  It was hard doing a job I hated. It's also really really hard doing a job I love, for entirely different reasons. The path isn't laid out for me, I'm not just grinding my days out. I'm instead fueled by a new kind of grind. its a much lighter feeling. Its electric almost instead of dead and flat. I'm out there pushing but the rewards when they come are that much sweeter, despite the failures being that much scarier. Its what keeps me doing this. Id rather work doing new things for this, than ever be stuck in a passionless position. If I ever do return to working elsewhere, it will be because I needed/wanted to to attain a goal, be that pay the rent, or a change of some sort. Ill dance in a lobster suit if you'll notice my biz and become my customer as a result. I'll do math and keep spreadsheets and calendars. I'll be late for the gym to make a delivery. I'll call people I don't know whereas when I was a kid I wouldn't call ANYONE and I hated the phone. It all changes when there's a PURPOSE!

Same thing with fitness (as usual, there are so many parallels!) It hurts to do cardio sometimes yeah. Lifting is hard, sometimes I want to eat ALL the chocolate and peanut butter and I'm HUNGRY. I choose not to eat cake because my family is in town. I instead choose to hang out with my family and enjoy their company. I do this every single day, because I WANT TO KNOW that I did everything I could to get as far as I could. The only person that loses if I "slip up" is ME. Why do that to myself, aren't my goals worth more?

Put you first. YOU only get one life here. Get fired up about something. If you've told your inner voice to shut up for so long, let it speak instead. Find the motivation to do the things you have always wanted in yourself because if you don't find it, YOU WILL NEVER, EVER DO THEM. If you're waiting for someone to make you, you ll be waiting a long time. You need to want it for you. I can't tell you to do something and make you do it. Your mom cant make you. Your friends cant make you. You need to live out the experiences to get you where you are and LISTEN to them. Don't tamp them down and continue to be mediocre. You need to get to the point where you've had enough and then you need to make the change rather than ignore the signs as so many do. YOU need to stop making excuses for yourself. Only you can do that. Otherwise, you may as well sit around at 2 AM looking for flying pandas in the dark to take you to the perfect life in a cloud of glitter and highly advanced pyrotechnics. Well hey, let me know if you see any! That'd be pretty cool....

You Got a Fast Car.....Until It Gets Hit By A Mack Truck!

I drive a VW Beetle. We met one day back in February. It was in the middle of that cold streak, where it hurts to go outside but you're so sick of wearing the same stupid three coats, that you just wear a sweatshirt for something different, because, you wont need to be like, OUT in that cold for more than thirty seconds at a clip right?

If your car breaks suddenly and irreparably, and you need to go car shopping immediately, you might have wished you were wearing that coat. That was the situation I was faced with that day, my seventeen billion year old Pontiac Grand Am whom I'd purchased for $800 four years earlier, had finally made an abrupt, but predictable exit to the big junkyard in the sky. Having to work my normal job in the morning, I needed a car ASAP. My dad and uncle knew someone who knew someone who knew someone that sold cars, so off we went for a deal hunt.

Everyone who knows me knows I HATE spending money. I cling to money like Jack and Rose cling to that door in the last scene in Titanic. Some people collect hockey cards. I like to collect money. I just love to watch it grow. So the news of needing a brand spanking new car didn't really delight me, although I knew it was coming for some time.

The guy at the car place showed me a sheet with all the cars, and my eyes were looking for price first and ugly factor right after. Jeep? Meh too boxy. Buick? HEEEELLLL no, I'd had enough boat cars for a lifetime after my first Pontiac Bonneville. Beetle? Well, it was cute! And the cheapest thing on the lot. I was sold. I went out to meet her. It was love at first site when she looked up at me with those giant headlights, she looked so happy! (so what if Beetles stemmed from Hitler, they look so darn cute) I drove the car off the lot that day for $6000 cash. Ok, I didn't drive it, it was standard, and Id never driven standard at the time and had no idea how. But I like a challenge, I'll get into that story another time.

Anyways, I had several people in the last few days ask me how I think I can do what I love and ever have any money. No, right now, two months into doing this full time, I don't make "crazy good money". There used to be a time when I would pour over stats published about how much people in my industry are supposed to make, and how much average people make, and do I measure up?!?! Then I realized something. I ain't average. And I don't even want to be, so why worry about averages?! I have everything I need and want right now....and the point is that's different for everyone, and for 90% of that, you have total control over your life design. With the exception of medical emergencies and the like, YOU control how you set up your life. Forget stats ok? Because they are just that, AVERAGES. YOU might be the one that doesn't fit with that.

Think of crash test ratings. You spend hours looking for the perfect forty seven star frontal crash test rated minivan with side air bags, ceiling air bags, arm rest airbags, airbags in the cupholders and windows that you cant open from the inside unless you're cleared with the CIA, lest someone fall out mid cruise. You're going along on the highway, and Bob the truck driver fell asleep after one too many hours on the road. Hes crossing the median. He's got 20 huge steel pipes in his truck. You know where this is going. No cupholder airbag could have stopped that beam from taking you straight out in this case. Behind your supervan, was Joe. Joe drives a 1995 Geo Prizm. It has a negative 40 star crash test rating. Did they even put airbags in that thing? Joe slams into your van. Metal pipes come within inches of his head. Joe should be dead. But Joe walks, yup walks away from the crash. You're dead. Crash test ratings and averages, made zero difference here. This was a unique situation. The angle of the crash was just so that Joe walked out without a scratch. And you didn't. You're dead.

He lived, you didn't?! How's THAT for averages?

The point here is averages don't guarantee, promise, or mean, ANYTHING really. Fortunately, you have a bit more control over your life design than you do over your life on the road. People ask me how I live? I don't spend thoughtlessly. I don't have a TV. I buy new clothes rarely, I have MORE clothes than I know what to do with. I do my own hair. I paint my own nails. I am blessed with no loan payments, because owning a business was a plan I considered WAY back in high school with my family. I don't have kids. I live in a place where the rent isn't high, and I share it with someone. My cars have all been used and bought in cash. My biggest expense is food, because that's also the one "hobby" I've chosen to pursue.

Ok, I know what you're thinking. What a loser, God shes boring, her life must be so boring and absolutely suck, she has NOTHING, I have so much more, what does she DO with her time?! You'd be wrong on all counts, in my eyes. I am rarely bored. I don't care about TV at all, I forget it exists actually. In my free time, I work out because I love it, I research working out, I research and read online, I talk to my boyfriend and friends, I go outside. And oh yeah, I build my design biz. Because I want that. Because I KNOW I cant support five kids and a BMW and yacht on what I make now. NO WAY. But I'VE CHOSEN THAT.

You might choose different. You might want kids, more than you want to not work a "stable" job. You might be ok with spending all week away from the huge house you have to keep paying on. You might be ok with that big cable TV bill. That is entirely your choice. But don't just have things, because stats and society says you have to have things.

Do you WANT to pay for 7000 channels a month? Can you think of something better you might be able to do with your time here than lose it to fake story lines? Can you find a couple things you want to watch online for free? Can you drive a car because it gets you somewhere, not because its shiny and new? Do you need to spend hours working to pay for someone to coat your fingernails in plastic? Can you live in a cute little place that you made all yours, not caring who it impresses? Do you really want to start a family at this time? Can you still get a good workout in with $12 TJMaxx headphones instead of $300 dollar Beats? You get what I'm saying.

Of course some things will ALWAYS be beyond our control, as is the case with the metal pipes on that truck. You may fall ill, a surprise child might come along, your house might burn down. NO ONE KNOWS SO WHY WORRY! Only control what you can, to get you to a place of TRUE happiness that has NOTHING to do with what the stats say should make you happy. I'm pretty freaking happy, in my no TV small house with my non manicured nails in my favorite yoga pants, eating $13 dollar nut butter from a spoon handed down from my mom. Back up, HOW much was that nut butter?! Its ok, we all have ONE thing we enjoy spending on ;) Keep it balanced!

THINK big picture about the future, BUILD the life you want, do not throw money down the toilet and hope happiness will blow up back out at you. Usually what comes back up in that case, is pretty shitty. Pun intended. Start making the changes and thinking of how you can get closer to what you SERIOUSLY want. What are you willing to sacrifice? ALL goals require some sacrifice. HAPPY FRIDAY!

As always, check out www.tamaramorrisongraphics.com to see what I do!