You're Not Trying Hard Enough

There was a point in my life, as everyone knows by now, that I wanted nothing more than to just leave my boring full time sit-in-a-dark-corner-and scan-endless-documents-all-day, job. It was sucking the life from me, and my design business was like a seedling that had just begun to sprout...but realized it was under one of those ugly lawn gnome statues you find in the home and garden section of KMart for wayyyy more than anyone should pay for something so unsightly.

Don't get stuck under this guy.......

In other words, I was stifled. Limited in what I could do given the current situation. I had to find a way to bend and get into the sun, or I would never grow.

One of the biggest hold backs, was the notion that people would probably think I was silly. Family, friends, complete strangers, anyone I who asked "So what do you do?" You're supposed to have stable employment. You're supposed to work a 9-5. You're supposed to not really like it. And you're supposed to DEAL with it and shut up dammit. That's what being an adult is! Liking what you do is for those far far away people you read about on some CNN feature, or Instagram, or blog.....ooops :P.
There is NEVER going to be a "right time" to do anything in life. You will feel when its often going to happen though. I knew it was going to happen. Change was in the air. I spent many nights in frustration and tears about HOW change was going to happen.

One of those nights I was talking to a friend about my frustrations, and all the reasons (excuses) as to why I shouldn't get out of that job and even get something part time at night for a while as I transitioned. In the midst of my excusefest and pity party, he said five words that I STILL repeat to myself almost daily, and I have since he said them: "You're not trying hard enough".

Why those stuck with me, was because those words were so.......true. I had every reason in the book as to why I wasn't doing what my soul wanted. Why the hell COULDN'T I go for what I wanted? Was I indeed NOT trying hard enough? Was there more I could do? Well, yeah. Shut up and apply for part time jobs and sneak into the bathroom at the full time gig, risk being sworn and shouted at, and lie about being sick and go on interviews. And you know what? That's exactly what I finally did. And it worked. Within a week of trying hard enough, I had another part time job that would give me the time I wanted to work on my biz. All I had to do was stop with the excuses, EMBRACE THE RAGING DISCOMFORT and try. I know I made it sound pretty simple. But.... maybe it is. Here's the main reasons I found and still find, that I'm not trying  hard enough when I want something, be it business, fitness, or life, and they might be the same reasons as you.....

1) It's Too Hard

Yeah, as simple as that. Getting more than what you already have in life, requires hard work. Like actual work. We don't often even know what that is in today's environment. In many cases, you're born, your parents enroll you in mandatory public school, and you then go to some kind of college because that's what you're supposed to do, and parents go broke and you go broke, and everybody goes crazy making sure its going to happen. It's ok to sink into debt, its your education! If you don't go that route (because that route simply is NOT for everyone!) then maybe you end up working at Arby's and people tell you you failed, so you believe that too, and you accept that, and you...don't try any harder. Or say you do graduate college, and you get your big job, and all you have to do in some cases, is, show up for the set hours, and do what they tell you, and you take home a paper with some amount of money on it each week and life goes on. You get that money whether you took 304 bathroom selfies, or crunched numbers for that  8 hour day. It just IS. Simply for being. It's taken for granted.

If you want to start a business, or if you want to move up to a valuable position where you currently work, or work somewhere else (because self employment isn't for everyone either, and I'm not saying it is) you may have to TRY HARDER. You may have to stay later, you may have to do the things you don't always want to, leave your phone in the car, talk to your boss even though he might get really really mad, or ultimately, you may have to look for other jobs in the bathroom and lie to go on interviews to get the hell out, and change your pants for them in your car in the commuter lot on the side of I-84.

You may have to do whatever the hell it takes because this is your one life. It's going to be uncomfortable. You won't like it. You'll cry and stay up thinking and panic and wonder and it would be easier to ignore it all and just keep on doing the same things. And you know what, most people do.

2) You're Too Worried About What Other People Will Say

One of the biggest stoppers of me just getting out of that job sooner, was wondering what other people would say when I did it. When people ask what you do, you're supposed to tell them that you work at XYZ and you do this there, and its OK, and that's that. I didn't want to tell people I was self employed or left my job, or I'm trying to be a designer. The looks they would give were ones of worry and fear almost like "Oh jeez, look for Tamara on the street corner when this fails soon......what is she, NUTS, she'll never get anywhere doing that, good thing I have a job, she must be seriously lazy!" And you know what, I still get those looks when I tell people what I do. I just don't care anymore and I don't let them stop me.  Because maybe I am crazy, I KNOW I'll fail at some things here and this will be hard. I do FAR MORE WORK NOW than I ever did at a company. Because I have to! I don't work, I DON'T have a preset amount of money coming to me. You better hustle. And that little bit of "fear" is what keeps me motivated. This is my life. Not my parents, not my friends, not some strangers. I have great support in my life. I have lots of savings. I wasn't downright stupid. But I don't care anymore about "the look" when I tell people what I do or that I quit. I just smile. Because thier opinions ultimatly don't matter in my life! Fancy that!

3) You Didn't Plan for Anything

The last reason you're not trying hard enough? You didn't plan on making serious long term changes to your life in the first place. If you want to make a change and you know it, start NOW. Maybe its not time to start looking for new jobs yet because you make a lot where you are. And you owe a lot. You bought a new house. A new car. You're having a baby. You have a serious addiction to crap you don't need. You think savings accounts are for rich people, or something. Welllllll you're really not trying hard enough then. It's time to go without. To cut the junk thats weighing you down. Think about the bigger picture of your life! You work at Arby's and you want to instead go back to school for nursing buttt you cant afford it with the 490594 bills you have. How bad do you want it? Bad enough to go without cable? Bad enough to ditch that fancy car and get something used? Bad enough to stop buying new clothes you'll never wear? 14 Venti lattes a week? Bad enough to stop by your local bank and see what this savings stuff is? You get my point. I didn't make much at that steady job. It wasn't even $30000 a year. I'll tell you that right now. But I saved nearly everything in that 6 yrs of working there. I don't own a TV. I almost never buy new clothes. I bought my car in cash. I share rent with someone. I don't subscribe to endless crap that sends a little bill in the mail every month. I have a prepaid smartphone. I buy food, gas and insurance and that's seriously IT. And you think I probably have no fun and I hate my life. I actually love my life. Love it. Love it so much. Because that stuff isn't the key to a happy existance. And I have a nice savings account and various other investments as well. I used Wikipedia to learn about some of them. My family and the bank taught me the rest. It was hard and no fun. But I knew I'd have to try if I wanted to see anything come of it.

I don't know your circumstances. These were just mine. I know I am lucky. You maybe have kids, or dependents, or something else that requires you to spend. Keyword: REQUIRES. Whatever your circumstances, I'm sure there is SOMETHING that you could do without. And you can ALWAYS do research to learn how to better yourself! Get on job boards, look for grants to get into schools, work with the situation you have. You can ALWAYS MAKE IT BETTER ALWAYS! Even I can today. There is SO MUCH I can do to grow my business. I'm STILL not trying hard enough. You aren't either. That said....time to wrap this up! Lots to do! Get to it!

Remember, you can always learn more about me and what I do at www.tamaramorrisongraphics.com. I promise I'll try hard enough on your projects ;)